


Second Chances

by SloaneDestler



Series: Second Chances [1]
Category: Le Fantôme de l'Opéra | Phantom of the Opera & Related Fandoms, Le Fantôme de l'Opéra | Phantom of the Opera - Gaston Leroux, Phantom of the Opera - Lloyd Webber
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Breastfeeding, Eventual Fluff, F/M, Family, Family Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Love, Marriage, Marriage of Convenience, Married Sex, Mentioned Childbirth, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Not Raoul-friendly, Not a Love Never Dies Retelling, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pregnancy, Pregnant Sex, Sexual Content, Unplanned Pregnancy, vague suicidal thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:48:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 29,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26472124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SloaneDestler/pseuds/SloaneDestler
Summary: Five months after the events of the final lair, Christine Daaé finds herself pregnant and alone. Desperate, she seeks out the only person who she thinks might help her - her former Angel of Music.
Relationships: Christine Daaé/Erik | Phantom of the Opera
Series: Second Chances [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2046779
Comments: 200
Kudos: 190





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is very much a mix of book and musical, along with my own imagination. Several things to keep in mind here: in this version, the events of the final lair play out more or less as they do in the musical, but the opera house isn't significantly damaged, and performances have resumed by the time this story starts. Likewise, no angry mob descended on Erik's home either. Also, Philippe both exists in this version and is still alive. And finally, Raoul does not come off well here, so any Raoul fans be warned.

Christine Daaé trudged along the streets of Paris, feeling the chill in the October air. She still had a long way to go before she reached her destination, and part of her wanted to simply give up, but she kept putting one foot in front of the other. The thought of the only remaining chance she had of giving the innocent life growing inside her a decent future was providing her the strength to go on. She just hoped when she finally reached the opera house, her angel would still be there.

In some ways it was hard to believe that only five months had passed since the fateful night Erik had forced her to leave with Raoul. So much had happened since then, Christine nearly felt like a completely different person. Why had she let Erik send her away? Why hadn’t she been stronger? It had been such a confusing, emotional night. When she chose Erik and they finally kissed, it had all seemed so _right_. Then while she was still reeling from her emotional discovery, he had turned from her and demanded that she leave with Raoul. With the sense of shock that had been hanging over her that entire night, she had docilely let Raoul lead her from the house on the lake, instead of fighting to stay with the man she truly loved. She had realized her mistake long before now, but the events that transpired that night after they left Erik behind had had consequences that had prevented her from returning to him sooner.

When Raoul led her from the opera, he had taken her to his townhouse, but instead of taking her to a guest room that first night, he had brought her into his own bedroom. By the time they reached his home, Christine was in what she now realized was a state of shock. Although her memories of that part of the evening were much duller than the crystal clear ones she had of everything that had happened with Erik, she remembered enough.

By the time they reached his room, Raoul had begun to cry, and as soon as the door shut behind them he had grabbed her to him. Although Christine couldn’t recall everything he had said, she knew he had started going on about the kiss she had given Erik, which she had only done in the first place to save Raoul anyway (at least as far as he knew.) He had cried that if she truly loved him, she would have to show him, or he would never be able to forget the sight of her kissing that monster. In her completely numb state, Christine had agreed and let Raoul bed her. Mercifully, her grief had dulled her memory of what happened next, although she remembered it being mostly uncomfortable but over fairly quickly.

The next morning, Raoul had been very repentant, apologizing for having given in to his baser urges and defiling her before they were married. As Christine had always considered herself a good girl, she was ashamed that they had anticipated the wedding night, but felt there probably wasn’t too much harm in it since they were to be married. And if the thought of marrying Raoul left her feeling unmoved, she told herself it was because of all the turmoil she had been through with Erik. How silly it had been of her to think she wanted to marry Erik and not Raoul! Of course Raoul was the man she loved, had always loved.

Except over the next two months, she found herself thinking of Erik more and more. And it seemed like Raoul was having second thoughts about the wedding himself. His older brother was furious at him for wanting to marry a former opera singer. Philippe had threatened to cut Raoul off from the family (and therefore the family money) entirely, and that seemed to weigh on him. And the fact that she would definitely be a former opera singer was not lost on Christine - if she wanted to be a vicomtesse, her days of singing in public would certainly be over. As her head cleared as more time passed from that dreadful night, she started to realize a life without Erik and with very little music was not a life she wanted to lead.

Christine began trying to formulate a plan to reach Erik. Surely if he would talk to her, if she could explain that she had truly meant it when she had chosen him, they could try to put the past behind them and start a life together. Around this time, though, Christine came down with a strange illness. For a week, she found herself quite sick to her stomach in the morning, and then feeling much better by the afternoon and evening, only to be back to being sick the next morning, until her maid finally commented on it. Her matter-of-fact statement that Christine seemed to be expecting had thrown her entire world off course. How had she not noticed that in the two months since she had lain with Raoul, she hadn’t had her monthly?

After her symptoms continued for another week, she finally told Raoul. He seemed happy when she told him, although not as overjoyed as she might have expected. And although it secretly broke her heart, Christine gave up any thoughts of trying to contact Erik. It wouldn’t be right to take Raoul’s child away from him, and no doubt Erik wouldn’t want her now anyway. So she had to learn to put her dreams of love and music aside, but she told herself it would be easier when she had her baby to hold and love.

When she was nearing what would be the fourth month of her pregnancy (it was easy to know exactly how far along she was when they had only been intimate the one time), Christine found her world once again fundamentally changed, however. Although she had noticed Raoul seemed more and more distant, she felt that would improve once they were married and the baby was born, although she wasn’t sure exactly why they hadn’t yet set a date to be wed. Raoul never seemed to want to talk about it the few times she had brought it up, so she had quit mentioning it. When he returned home one afternoon and asked her to join him in his office for a discussion about their future, she felt sure he was finally going to set a date for the wedding. Trying not to think about her lack of excitement for the topic, she joined him, telling herself this was the right thing for them to do.

As it turned out, though, Raoul had quite a different discussion in mind. Without once fully looking her in the eye, he had informed her that after a conversation with Philippe, he had decided to end their engagement and their relationship. As Christine had tearfully begged him for an explanation, he had given her a cruel one. “Philippe pointed out that the timing of this pregnancy is quite suspect. Of course he doesn’t know that you spent so much time unchaperoned in a strange man’s house around the time you fell pregnant, but I do. And I’m not interested in raising the child of a deformed madman.” Christine had pleaded with him to believe her that he was certainly the father, if only for the child’s sake, but her pleas had fallen on deaf ears. And she found herself turned out of the de Chagny house with only the few belongings she had brought with her and some money Raoul had given her.

Instead of seeking out Erik, or anyone from the opera for help, Christine had first taken a room in a boarding house with the money Raoul had given her while she tried to decide what to do. She truly felt alone in the world. Mamma Valérius was gone, and Meg or the other dancers wouldn’t have the means to help her. That only left her former teacher, but why would he want to help her when she was pregnant with the child of the man she had spurned him for? She decided to wait and see if Raoul would realize his mistake and ask her to forgive him. Although it was the last thing she wanted for herself, she knew it would be the best thing for the baby. She sent her address to his home in case he wanted to contact her, but she heard nothing from him.

Although she lived as frugally as she could, the money lasted only a month. With no word from Raoul and no money, Christine knew she was going to have to make some hard decisions. There were very few options available to a woman trying to raise a baby alone. She could try selling herself on the street, as abhorrent as that thought was. She could try to seek employment as a maid, but she had no experience and she thought it extremely unlikely that she would be able to find a domestic position now that her pregnancy was obvious. Or she could beg Erik for help, and maybe once the baby was born, she could regain a position with the opera and support her child that way. It would be hard, but she could make it work, if she could just find a way to survive until then.

So here it was that she was returning to the Palais Garnier, the place she longed to be, both on its stage and in the house far below it, but had never thought she would return to again. And when the magnificent building finally came into view ahead of her, she felt something she hadn’t felt in months: hope.

*****

Although she had worried it might be difficult, it had turned out to be surprisingly easy to enter the opera house and make her way to her old dressing room. Not many people seemed to be about at that time of the afternoon, and the ones she passed didn’t seem to pay her any mind. When she knocked on the door and didn’t receive an answer she cautiously opened it, only to find that the room looked to be unused. Christine hit the catch to release the mirror, and once she had stepped through and closed it again, she took a deep breath and turned, ready to start the journey toward her old teacher’s home. She only prayed she would find him there.

Erik had once shown her a path that she could use that allowed access to his home without having to cross the lake, and that was the course she headed on now. Christine merely had to hope that he hadn’t changed the location of any of the traps he had carefully shown her. Her trek was uneventful, though. No doubt Erik had thought there was no chance she would ever come this way again, and hadn’t bothered to change anything. _That is, if he’s still even here_ , her worried mind reminded her.

When she reached Erik’s house, she knocked on the door, even though it felt ridiculous after all the times she had come to visit or stay with him, back when she entered without knocking and he was always so pleased to see her. Christine was much less sure of her welcome this time, but when there was no answer, she tentatively pushed open the door. “Erik?”

There was no answer. Starting to feel a twinge of panic that maybe he had abandoned the house and moved on to somewhere she would never find him, she walked into the house. What she found inside relieved her, though. It certainly seemed like someone was still living there, although as she cautiously checked all the rooms she found them empty. When she entered the kitchen, Christine got a hint of where Erik might have gone: when she checked his food cabinets she found only a small part of a loaf of bread left. Although Erik ate ridiculously little, he still had to eat sometimes, so she thought maybe he was out for supplies.

Christine was quite hungry, as she had been able to purchase very little food these past weeks as she tried to make her meager funds stretch. She couldn’t stop herself from eating the bread - hopefully Erik wouldn’t begrudge her his food. Pensively, she reflected on the irony of her thoughts. Back in what seemed another life now, Erik had been thrilled to provide food for her and constantly reminded her that anything in his possession was at her full disposal. No doubt his feelings on that matter had changed.

After finishing her snack, Christine went to the only room she hadn’t looked for Erik in - her bedroom. Or her former bedroom, she supposed it was now. It looked the same, and being back in this room started to bring all her emotions to the surface. Now fighting back tears, she looked in the wardrobe and gasped. All of the clothing Erik had provided her with still hung there. When she entered her bathroom, she found all the soaps and lotions he had bought for her were still there. Maybe there was hope! Although she felt certain Erik would no longer be interested in her romantically, especially once he found out she carried the child of the man he hated, maybe his keeping all her things indicated he still had a fondness for her. Maybe he would help her and her baby.

The temptation to have a hot bath was overwhelming, and Christine nearly gave in to it, but she decided not to. She didn’t know when Erik would return, and she didn’t care to be in the bathtub when he discovered she had invaded his house. Instead she moved back to the bedroom and laid down on her soft mattress. The emotions of being back in the only place she had ever truly felt she belonged since her father died were sweeping over her, and tears began to run down her cheeks. Between the tiredness she felt from both her pregnancy and the long journey she had taken that day, her emotional upheaval, and the fact that she had some food in her stomach, it wasn’t long before she fell into a deep sleep. So deep, in fact, that she did not hear the door to the house open almost silently, or the nearly imperceptible footsteps of her former mentor entering his home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the most ambitious piece I've attempted to write so far, and I hope I'll be able to pull it off. I want to try to stay true to how the characters would have likely viewed this pregnancy in this historical context, and not apply modern viewpoints, so I hope I'm able to make that work. I would definitely like to hear any comments/suggestions/feedback that you might have, and thank you very much for reading!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erik gets a surprise. A couple of them, actually.

As soon as Erik entered the catacombs through the Rue Scribe gate, he felt an uneasy feeling prickle over him. Although nothing was obviously amiss, he had a sense someone had disturbed his sanctuary, and he had not survived as long as he had by ignoring his instincts. Grasping his Punjab lasso, he moved silently down the corridor, ready to deal with this unwise intruder.

When he carefully opened his door, though, a different feeling hit him - one he had never expected to experience again. Although he was hard-pressed to explain it logically, his home had always had a different feel to it when Christine was in it, and this was what he was noticing now. But that made no sense, he cautioned himself.

Erik began carefully checking the rooms of his house, keeping as silent as he could. When he entered the kitchen and set down the meager supplies he had brought back with him, he could feel her presence even stronger there. On a hunch, he opened the cabinet and saw that the small amount of bread he had left was gone, and his heart began beating even faster. Christine would know where to look for food in his kitchen. Could it really be her?

When he quietly cracked open the door to the Louis Philippe room, he had his answer. Against all reasoning, his lovely girl was asleep in the bedroom he had made for her, resting on her side with her back to him. Erik greedily took in her cascading chestnut curls and the even, gentle breaths she took in her slumber. Unable to stop himself, he silently crossed the room to look down at her.

At first Erik stared at her almost blindly, unable to believe what he was seeing. As he looked at his beloved’s face, though, some details began to register in his mind with alarm. Christine’s sweet countenance looked drawn, and there were dark circles under her eyes. Even more concerning were the tear tracks down her cheeks. As he gazed at her, trying to guess what had put her in this state, she seemed to sense him in her sleep, as she became restless and let out a shaky sob. Acting completely on instinct, Erik leaned down close to her ear and began to quietly hum a soothing lullaby, one that he used to sing to her after their lessons, back when she only knew him as her Angel of Music.

The familiar tune served to calm her, as her frown cleared and she rolled on her back, seemingly moving toward him in her sleep, although Erik knew if she was awake she would surely be running from him in horror. But, why then, was she here? As he moved his gaze from her face, two things struck him nearly at once, and he knew he was closer to having an answer to that question. There were no rings of any kind on Christine’s fingers, and there was a pronounced curve to her belly that could only mean one thing.

Stumbling back from the bed in shock, Erik just barely restrained himself from gasping aloud. That wretched boy had obviously filled her with his issue, and judging from both the lack of a ring and the fact that she was asleep in Erik’s house, it seemed there was a good possibility he had abandoned them both! His mind whirling, he staggered out to the sitting room and collapsed into a chair that would afford him a view of the hallway should she arise.

What should he do? Aside from killing the vicomte at the first opportunity, of course. Erik rose from the chair he had just sat in and took a few unsteady steps back toward Christine. He would shake her awake and demand she tell him what had happened!

_No!_ Erik drew himself up short. _I must get control of_ _myself!_ Trying to bring reason back to his disordered mind, he forced himself to return to his chair. In the months since Christine had left him, he had had ample time to dwell upon the mistakes he had made, and he had realized they all boiled down to one salient point: for the first time in his adult life, he had lost control of his emotions when it came to her. Instead of using the cold logic that had guided his entire existence, he had started reacting with his heart, and it had had the unfortunate effect of terrifying her and causing her to remove herself from his life. Had he kept his wits about him, maybe he would have been able to continue to convince her that his presence in her life was something she desired.

So, now that he had a possibility of a second chance, he must stay calm with her this time, Erik reminded himself. He must stay cool and calculating, and not get lost to his emotions again. Taking deep breaths helped, and soon he was feeling calmer.

As he waited for her to wake up, more mundane thoughts started to cross his mind. Christine had looked so frail, and she had eaten the little amount of food that had been left in his house. No doubt she would be hungry when she woke, and Erik wished he had more than the bread and cheese he had brought back with him today. He briefly considered leaving to acquire some better food for her, but soon discarded that idea. What if she awakened while he was gone and left? No, what he had would have to do for now. At least he had plenty of the Russian tea they both favored. With that thought in mind, he quickly moved to the kitchen to heat some water so that he could have tea ready for her shortly after she woke up, efficiently slicing some bread and cheese while it boiled. He must make everything perfect for her if he hoped to persuade her to stay with him this time. He wouldn’t make the mistake of frightening her with his intense feelings for her again.

*****

Christine felt a presence in the air immediately upon waking, and she knew Erik was in the house, although a quick glance across the room showed she was the only occupant. She went to the mirror over the dressing table and tried to restore some order to her curls and smooth the wrinkles out of her clothing. Although she didn’t feel she had much success, at least she maybe looked a little more presentable. Giving her reflection a rueful glance, she couldn’t help but think that she looked a far cry from the youthful ingenue that Erik had fallen so hard for. Now that the time to talk to him had finally come, her stomach was so full of nerves that she feared she might be sick, and she took several deep breaths in an attempt to calm herself. Doing so helped a little, and she moved resolutely to the door, ready to seek him out and discover if Erik would help her after all she had done to him.

He must have heard her door open, because as she stepped into the hall, Erik appeared in the doorway to the sitting room. He was wearing his black mask that covered his entire face except for his mouth and chin, and his deep-set golden eyes were difficult to even see in this much light, so Christine had no idea what he was thinking. She stared at him helplessly, trying not to cry.

“Hello, Christine,” he broke the silence first.

She nearly began weeping at hearing his beautiful voice after fearing for so long that she would never hear it again. “Maestro,” she whispered in answer.

Erik could tell the girl was about to fall apart. Deciding to take a more mundane approach to this momentous conversation, he asked her solicitously, “My dear, are you hungry?”, and when she nodded silently, appearing to fight back tears, he gestured for her to proceed down the hall ahead of him. 

When they reached the kitchen, he pulled out a chair for her at the small table. “I’m afraid it’s not much,” he apologized as he served her the simple fare and began to steep some tea for her. “I wasn’t expecting company,” he concluded with a small smile.

Christine could hardly believe Erik was being so welcoming, acting as though that last traumatic scene between the three of them had never happened and he was simply happy to have her as a guest, not to mention the fact that he hadn’t acknowledged her obvious condition. Maybe he had lost all touch with reality in the time she had been gone from this place.

Feeling she had to bring it up when Erik sat across from her with his own cup of tea after he had provided her with one, Christine began tentatively, “I’m sure you’re wondering why I’m here…”

Erik’s unreadable eyes flicked in the direction of her stomach. “Actually, my dear, I do have something of an idea why, but first please eat and drink as much as you’d like, and then we can discuss it. I’m not going anywhere.” Feeling reassured, if not a little confused by his calm manner, Christine gave him a small nod and proceeded to do exactly as he asked.

*****

When she had eaten her fill of the simple but very welcome food, Erik guided her to the sitting room. Once she was settled in her former chair and he had brought her a fresh cup of tea, he sat in his chair and looked at her. Sensing this was the time to tell him everything, Christine nevertheless had no idea where to begin her sad tale, but she had to start somewhere.

“Well, Angel, as you can see, I’m in something of a predicament. A little bit more than that, actually.” As she started speaking, Christine felt her throat clog up with tears. This was going to be even more difficult than she had anticipated. 

Erik came to her rescue, however, proving that no matter the ugliness that had happened between them at the end of their time together, he knew her better than anyone else ever had. “Shall I tell you what my guess is of what you intend to tell me, and you can let me know if I’m correct or not?” At Christine’s grateful nod, he continued, “Well my dear, it’s obvious you’re expecting a child. That much is plain to see. So the question is, where is the vicomte? Did he marry you and then turn you out already?”

When Christine shook her bent head, Erik almost lost his train of thought. That was the answer he was hoping to hear, the key piece to the plan assembling in his mind as he spoke with her, but at the same time he was filled with a murderous rage toward that idiot vicomte. How dare the wretch do this to an innocent angel? Reminding himself that logic was going to be essential to keeping Christine with him this time, he refocused on presenting himself as calm and collected to her, no matter the chaos below the surface.

As she raised her gaze to Erik, Christine noted that although he was looking at her with an attentive, almost gentle expression in his eyes, he was gripping the arms of his chair so hard his knuckles were white. Was he angry with her? Suddenly words poured out of her. “No, we didn’t marry. As you can see, we were together before the wedding night. It was just once, I didn’t think there was any harm in it. But as it turns out, there was. His brother convinced him that the child might not be his, and he turned me away. And now my baby will be the one to pay for my mistakes.”

Before she could dissolve into tears, she forced herself to continue. “So, Angel, I’m here to beg for your help. I’m so sorry, but I’ve no one else to turn to. Maybe I can stay here a while? I thought after the baby is born, maybe I can regain a position in the opera, so it wouldn’t be forever.” Christine stared at him hopefully, but her heart dropped when he rose from his chair and went to face the fireplace, leaving his back to her.

“Christine, I must admit, I’m not entirely in favor of this plan.” Devastated, she dropped her head. What would she do? But then Erik continued, “It occurs to me that you and the babe would both have a much more secure future if you were a married woman. What would you say to marrying me? It would be purely for the sake of the child, and for your own security. I would be happy to give you voice lessons again as well, if you want to pursue joining the opera again.”

This was so far beyond what Christine had considered a possible outcome of asking Erik for help that she didn’t know what to think. “Surely you don’t want to marry me just to raise another man’s child? I couldn’t ask that of you,” she trailed off, but oh, it was so tempting. To have Erik and music back in her life for good, not to mention giving her baby a father, at least in the eyes of the world.

Erik had given her his back a few moments ago because he feared that if she agreed to his plan, even his mask wouldn't be able to hide the triumph he would feel, and it turned out that was a wise decision. Feeling that at last he had found a way to make Christine his was exhilarating, but he cautioned himself to keep his answer even-keeled. “My dear, surely you know I have no intention of marrying otherwise. Let me do this to help you and the child, and my reward will be your companionship, not to mention the music we could make together again.”

Part of Christine wanted to say no, that this cold arrangement wasn’t what she wanted from the man she had realized she loved far too late, but the practical side of her brain stopped her. The world was a cruel place for an unwed mother, not to mention that if her baby was born a bastard, that was a stigma he or she would never be able to overcome. Somehow fate had given her another chance to help the innocent being inside her, and she could never live with herself if she didn’t do all she could for her child. “Well then, yes, Angel, I will marry you, and I want you to know that I am so grateful you would help me, help _us_ , like this.”

Erik wanted to throw back his head and shout in triumph, but instead he merely nodded calmly. “Alright then. I’ll contact my man of business and begin the arrangements. For the babe’s sake, I think we should wed as soon as possible, don’t you?” Making sure none of his emotions were showing in his eyes, he turned to her.

Christine wanted to cry, but she didn’t know if it was from relief or sadness. Probably a combination of the two, she reflected. “Yes,” was all she said. “I agree, as soon as possible would be best.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really appreciate the positive feedback I got on the first chapter of this piece, and I hope you all like this chapter as well. Please feel free to let me know what you think of it, and thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please forgive me any legal or medical inaccuracies from here on out...thanks for your indulgence, and I hope you like this chapter!
> 
> Added on 12/28/20 - the incredibly talented geickogarbage made some awesome artwork of the last scene of this chapter and gifted it to me as a Secret Santa present! Check it out [here](https://sloanedestler.tumblr.com/post/638806666105765888/i-am-very-excited-to-share-my-amazing-wonderful)!!

Within a week, all the arrangements for the wedding had been made. Erik had a solicitor who handled any legal needs for him, in exchange for a very generous retainer, and that man had obtained a special license for them, as well as finding a church for the ceremony. Erik would have simply preferred to be married by a judge, but he felt that if Christine ever had doubts about their union in the future, she would feel more bound to him if they exchanged their vows in a religious setting. Since he planned to do all he could to keep her with him this time, he felt it was worth the effort. It proved simple enough to find a parish in a poor neighborhood, one whose priest couldn’t turn down the substantial donation he was providing in exchange for performing a private ceremony, with the groom wearing a mask and the bride noticeably expecting.

Christine spent the week before the ceremony quietly resting and regaining her strength. Although she knew they had agreed to wed as soon as possible for the child’s sake, at times she felt as though the arrangements that Erik was making were for someone else entirely, that she couldn’t possibly be getting married so quickly. But soon enough she found herself dressing in a gorgeous, flowing gown that Erik had brought her, and affixing a complementary veil to her hair. When she deemed herself as ready as she could be for the ceremony, she left her room to find Erik.

He was facing the fireplace in the sitting room, and when he turned at her entrance, he seemed to freeze for a bit, simply staring at her. Feeling self-conscious, Christine looked down at her gown, wondering if she had forgotten something. After a moment, though, Erik cleared his throat. “Forgive me for staring, my dear, it’s just that you look so lovely I was taken aback for a minute.”

Blushing at his smooth compliment, Christine shyly answered, “Thank you, Erik. You look very handsome as well.” And he did, she reflected, dressed in elegant black evening wear with his dark wig slicked back. Only the mask disrupted the picture of an elegant gentleman. “Your outfit is very fine.” Although he only nodded in response to her statement, Christine thought she could detect just the slightest self-satisfied curve to Erik’s thin lips. While it was hardly a moment for levity, she nearly had the impulse to giggle. For someone who had once called Raoul a slave of fashion as though it were a vile insult, Erik was inordinately concerned with his own attire.

When Erik offered her his arm, though, any urge to laugh faded. It was time to leave for their wedding.

*****

Once he had helped Christine into the carriage he had hired to take them to the church, Erik leaned back slightly in his seat and exhaled. Seeing his dear girl once again in a wedding dress he had chosen for her, but this time coming to him willingly had nearly undone him. He had practically had to bite his tongue to stop himself from proclaiming his love for her, but he reminded himself that he must not scare her with protestations of love this time around. Christine was going to be his wife, and her companionship would be more than enough.

A relatively short time later, they were at the church, and Erik led her inside. Christine noticed that the priest gave them both a second glance, but he said nothing. Erik must have made sure that the man was warned of their unusual situation ahead of time, but Christine didn’t dwell on it as she had far more important things on her mind. The ceremony was brief, and soon enough Erik was slipping a ring on her finger and pressing a light kiss to her lips. As the priest had them move to sign the register afterward, ensuring they would be legally married as well as wed in the eyes of the Lord, she glanced idly at the ring on her finger, letting out a small gasp as she recognized it as the golden ring Erik had put on her finger before. Thankfully the priest seemed not to hear, but she could tell Erik had noticed by the way he stiffened next to her.

After they signed the book and were back in the carriage, Erik brought up the ring. “My dear, if you don’t like that ring, I can get you a different one. It was all I had available at the moment to use,” he lied, hoping she wouldn’t consider that he had dedicated the greater part of the past week to preparing for this wedding, and certainly could have obtained a new ring in that time. The truth was, he wanted to see her wearing _that_ ring, the one he had bought for her and dreamed of her wearing. Best not to let her know that, though, he thought.

“Oh,” she replied softly. When she saw that he had kept the ring, Christine had hoped it meant that maybe Erik still had feelings for her. To hear him speak so dismissively about getting her a new ring, especially after he had just placed this one on her finger in their wedding ceremony, quashed that idea. Well, she had only herself to blame. Why had she ever left him in the first place, no matter if he told her to go or not, at least not without telling him how she truly felt? 

“No, I would like to keep this one.” Erik closed his eyes at her words, not wanting Christine to see how happy her simple statement made him.

*****

Once they were wed, the two of them began to settle into a routine with ease, which in some ways surprised Christine and in some ways did not. Back before she had allowed others to convince her to fear the man who had been her protector and confidant for so long, there had always been an easy companionship between them, and now they resumed the same activities they had enjoyed together before. Erik started giving her vocal lessons again, as her voice had gotten slightly out of practice over the last months of no singing, and in the evenings they would sometimes sing together, or discuss the books they were each reading. Other nights, they would simply sit in their respective chairs in front of the fireplace in the library, reading in a comfortable silence.

Other things in Christine’s life started to come together, too. Erik had arranged a meeting with André and Firmin, and they seemed very eager to have her back on stage at the opera house whenever she would like. No doubt they thought that bringing her back to sing after her mysterious disappearance would sell a plentiful amount of tickets. And she had reconnected with Meg and Madame Giry, as well. While they were obviously quite surprised that she was clearly expecting and had recently married Erik, neither one asked any difficult questions and both just seemed happy to see her again.

Also, Erik alleviated one of her concerns about the future without her having brought the topic up, further evidence to Christine of the way he almost seemed to read her mind at times. One day he handed her a stack of what seemed to be drawings. Upon studying them, she realized they were plans for a house. When she looked at him questioningly, he elaborated. “My dear, I’ve been thinking that this is not the best environment to raise a child in. I have a small piece of land I’ve owned for a while on the edge of the city, and I wondered what you would think of building a home there?”

Christine gasped happily. “Oh, yes, Erik, I would like that very much!”

Pleased that she seemed so happy with this suggestion, Erik eagerly started showing her the details of the house he had designed. “Of course, any changes you would like can be made, Christine. I want you to be perfectly happy with your home.”

Touched that Erik wanted her input on his plans, Christine looked it over carefully, but there was very little she wanted to change. Erik knew her so well, she mused, that he had practically designed her dream home. “I can’t believe you’ve done all this in the short time we’ve been married.” She commented absently, happily looking at the drawing that showed his vision for the flower beds in the yard.

“Uh, yes,” he mumbled, but Christine was lost in her thoughts of her new home and didn’t notice his awkwardness. The last thing Erik wanted was for her to know he had designed this house expressly for her long ago - no doubt that would only remind her of his obsession with her, and that was the last thing he needed. “If you’re pleased with this plan, I will engage the builder I have in mind and we will proceed.”

“How wonderful!” she replied, gracing him with her lovely smile. “And I must tell you, Erik, that it means so much to me that you’ve thought about the baby this much.”

As Christine turned her attention back to their future home, Erik mumbled something incoherent and turned away. The truth was, he didn’t really think of the coming child much at all if he could help it, at least not other than the ways he could use the situation to his advantage with Christine.

He didn’t hate the child, that much he was sure of. Hate and anger were the two emotions he truly understood, his near-constant companions for most of his life, and he didn’t feel either of those in connection with her babe. The best he could tell, he seemed to feel nothing much at all for it. On one hand, he was grateful for its existence, because without it, Christine never would have returned to him, but he couldn’t say he was filled with excitement to raise the vicomte’s child, either. Considering how much that annoying boy cried as a full-grown man, Erik dreaded to think how much his offspring might cry as an infant.

But the child would be half-Christine, too, and he certainly loved Christine, so maybe if the child favored her in looks and manner he could eventually forget who its true father was.

All of this ruminating was rather pointless, though, he reflected. All that really mattered was that Christine clearly loved the babe, so much so that she had walked across half of Paris for it, prepared to beg a man who had terrorized her to help them. So, it stood to reason that if Erik could make her believe he also loved it, that could only endear him to Christine. Surely he could pretend to care for her child if it would make her want to stay with him.

Briefly Erik wondered if he should feel guilty at trying to deceive Christine once again, but he decided this was different than when he had pretended to be an angel. For one thing, she had come to him willingly this time, and he hadn’t tricked her into marrying him in any way. Yes, he had suggested getting married as soon as they could for the child’s best interest when his real concern was getting her to the altar quickly in case the vicomte came to his senses and tried to win her back, but there was no need for her to know that. And while pretending to love a child he did not wasn’t exactly honest, who would it harm? It wasn’t as if he had any intention of ever hurting the babe, if anything the opposite was true.

*****

As far as Christine was concerned everything was going well, but one thing lingered in the back of her mind. Erik had made no move to consummate their marriage, and she had a feeling he didn’t intend to. Was this because he no longer desired her, or did he just not know how to approach it with her? She had a feeling she was the more experienced of the two of them, and that wasn’t saying much, considering her experience was one fumbling night in the dark. But the fear that he had no interest in making love to her now that she was pregnant with another man’s child kept her silent.

Christine had another realization about her life, too. Although she did miss performing, and fully intended to return to it at some point in the future, she discovered that what she had truly missed was the music itself. That, and creating it with Erik. Whatever concerns she had about his feelings for her faded away when she sang for him, or when they sang together - he might not want her romantically any longer, but their musical connection was stronger than ever. He even sought out her opinion on his compositions. Although she felt a little silly at first giving a genius like Erik her thoughts on his music, he truly seemed to value her opinion and take her suggestions to heart, and that quickly increased her confidence. Erik’s dedication to his art was such that she knew he would only seek her input if he truly valued her thoughts.

It was one evening when they were discussing one of his compositions that Christine got an inkling of how comfortable Erik was becoming around her. They were discussing a section that he was having a particularly frustrating time with, and while she didn’t have any specific thoughts to help him in this case, she still liked to listen to Erik talk through his concerns. Often, just talking to her helped him reach a breakthrough in situations like this. “I don’t know why, Christine, but it’s still not quite what I want here.” Seemingly lost in thoughts of his music, to her shock he absentmindedly removed his mask, setting it on the piano to rub tiredly at his face.

At first not realizing what he had done, Erik glanced up when Christine made no response to his statement. She was staring at him with eyes as round as saucers, and his stomach dropped when he realized why. What on earth had possessed him to take his mask off in front of her? Closing his eyes so he wouldn’t see her disgust, he fumbled for the mask but only succeeded in knocking it off the piano onto the rug beneath it. As he hadn’t yet heard her run from the room in horror, he did the only other thing he could do to spare her having to look at his horrible face, and covered it with his hands. 

“Oh, Christine,” he choked out, “Erik is so sorry.” God, what an idiot he was! Thinking all this while that if he was careful to act and speak at all times as he had when she thought he was her Angel of Music, that she would remember those days and start to care for him again, only to casually take off his mask in front of her. No doubt the reminder of the monster she had married had horrified her so much she couldn’t even react. But as he sat there, feeling as though he was breaking apart inside, the most incredible thing happened.

To his shock, he felt Christine’s small hands on his, gently pulling them away from his face. Erik stiffened even more, afraid she was wanting to gawk at the freak, but he should have known his sweet Christine would never be so unkind. “Erik, what are you apologizing for? Taking off your mask in your own house?” Christine asked, and then even more unbelievably, he felt her fingertips lightly graze over his sunken cheeks. “You don’t have to hide from me.” And to his utter shame, he felt two tears leak from his still-closed eyes and trail down his cheeks, past the hole where his nose should be.

When Christine saw Erik’s shame at having taken off his mask, she felt as if her heart would break. No doubt his reaction was at least partly her own fault, after the cruel way she had unmasked him not once but twice in the past. Desperate to show him that his face didn’t matter to her, despite the evidence she had unfortunately given him to the contrary, she gently wiped away his tears, and without further thought, leaned in and began pressing kisses to his poor face.

As Christine’s gentle lips pressed to his forehead, Erik’s eyes flew open in shock. Instead of fleeing from him in horror, she was _kissing_ him? Although it seemed unbelievable, she next kissed him softly on either cheek, and as he started to accept that such an unbelievable event was in fact occurring, she pulled back. Touched that she had made such an effort for a wretch like him, he opened his mouth to thank her, but before he could speak she raised her eyes to his for a long moment. Unsure what she was thinking, he hesitated, but he didn’t have to wonder what her intentions were for long. Never once breaking their eye contact, Christine slowly leaned toward him once again, but this time she placed her sweet lips directly on his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, they're married now! And in case anyone is wondering, the M rating will kick in with the next chapter, so hopefully that'll be fun. I really appreciate your reading, and please let me know what you think!
> 
> Added 12/28/20 - don't forget to check out the artwork I mentioned in the beginning notes! It's awesome!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> M rating begins with this chapter:) Enjoy!

When Christine pressed her soft lips to his, Erik’s mind went blank and he simply returned her gentle kiss. After a moment passed and a few scattered thoughts returned to his head, he attempted to draw back from her, but his movement must have upset her balance on the piano bench, and she grasped the lapels of his jacket for balance. Having his beloved’s hands pulling him toward her was too much for Erik to resist, and acting mostly on instinct he deepened their kiss instead, moving his lips over hers and even daring to press his tongue along the seam of her mouth.

Thrilled that he was returning her kiss so passionately, when she felt Erik’s tongue seek entrance to her mouth, Christine shyly but happily opened her lips and let him slip between them, even being bold enough to tentatively touch her tongue to his. This seemed to open up a sort of floodgate between the two of them, and soon their mouths were melded together as they embraced each other. This was what she had wanted from him, but hadn't known how to ask for.

When the kiss finally ended, they stayed in each other’s embrace for a moment, foreheads pressed together, both breathing quickly. Suddenly Erik jerked up from the piano bench, startling her. Christine raised her gaze to his face, her heart sinking as he avoided meeting her eyes. Mumbling something about needing to prepare dinner, he stalked from the room, but not before Christine’s still somewhat-disordered mind noticed a very pertinent detail: a glance at Erik’s trousers confirmed he had very much enjoyed their kiss, and seeing that made her feel bold. Even if Erik no longer loved her, it seemed he still desired her. Thoughts swirling in her head, she followed him from the room.

When they sat down to dinner a short while later, Erik tried his best to pretend that nothing had happened, having replaced his mask and straightened his clothes and wig. Although Christine had seemed to enjoy kissing him in the moment, he had no doubt that now that she had had some time to think about it, surely she was regretting it. And then to make matters worse, after they had kissed he had allowed his disgusting unmasked face to be pressed up against hers. He supposed it was only her politeness and kindness that kept her from running to her bathroom to wash her face at the first opportunity. He tried to make conversation as they usually did, but he knew he was still distracted, and his attempts at normalcy fell flat.

It was obvious to Christine that Erik was feeling very uncomfortable, even though he was trying to act as though they hadn’t been in each other’s arms just an hour ago. While their usual dinner conversation flowed from one topic to the next with ease, tonight it was stilted and forced, and he barely seemed to listen to what little she said, which was very uncharacteristic of him. Finally they both seemed to give up on speaking, and the dinner lapsed into silence, which gave Christine time to mull over the plan that was forming in her mind.

Even though she normally washed the dishes on the nights when Erik cooked for them (which was most nights), tonight he brushed off her attempts to help, insisting on cleaning up in the kitchen. While he did so, she retired to her room to prepare for bed. After slipping into her nightgown and dressing robe, Christine took a moment to study herself in the mirror above her vanity. Pinching her cheeks to add a touch of color to them, she made sure her curls were arranged in an artful manner, and took a calming breath as she left the bedroom.

Finding that Erik was done in the kitchen, she went in search of him and located him in the library, a book on his lap that he seemed to be ignoring as he stared into the fire. In what was a regular occurrence for them, he must have sensed her presence in the doorway, because he gave a slight start and turned toward her, although he still didn’t meet her gaze fully. “Ah, Christine, come to say goodnight to your Erik?”

“Actually, I was hoping to ask you something.”

“Of course,” he replied, but his heart sank at her words, wondering if she was going to ask him to promise that today’s scene in the music room would never be repeated. But as was so often the case, his Christine surprised him.

“I wondered if you would sleep in my room with me tonight?”

*****

Erik blew out the lone candle that was burning in Christine’s room and slid into the bed beside her, wondering what on earth he was thinking when he agreed to this. Whatever had possessed her to ask him to do this was also a mystery, he reflected, but when it came to Christine, there was very little that he wouldn’t do for her, so to refuse a direct request from her was not something he had the strength to do, apparently. Maybe he could just lie here beside her until she fell asleep and then steal from the room.

Sleep didn’t seem to be on his darling’s mind, however. After he settled in as much as he could, she rolled on her side toward him and started talking. After asking him a few mundane questions and the short conversation that followed, Christine showed she wasn’t done surprising him for the evening. “Erik, can I...kiss you?" The last bit of her query was whispered in a way he would have found adorable if he wasn’t starting to panic.

“Christine, what...why…” he fumbled for words, at a loss for a coherent response. 

“I just thought it could be fun,” she pushed on, now a little embarrassed, but determined. “I liked kissing you earlier. I thought maybe you liked it, too.” That was a bit of a dare, as she had definitely seen some evidence that he had indeed liked it.

Erik didn’t have the nerve to call her bluff, it seemed. “I did,” he replied quietly, “but I was afraid that you didn’t enjoy it, or wouldn’t want to do it again.”

“Well,” Christine replied in the most reasonable tone she could muster, “we’re married now, and I did like it. So I think we should kiss as much as we like, if we both want to.” She was glad it was dark in the bedroom, as her cheeks were so red by now they felt like they were on fire, but she had come this far with this embarrassing conversation, and she intended to see it through.

Erik whispered just one word in response. “Yes.”

As their lips each met the others, Christine was surprised to feel that Erik was wearing his mask. Her heart breaking at the knowledge he felt he had to hide his face from her in a completely dark room, she pulled back slightly. “Erik, is it all right if I take your mask off? I think it would make this much more pleasant.”

Swallowing down his instinctive refusal, Erik agreed. After all, it was completely dark in the room, and again, telling Christine no was proving to be something he was not good at. 

Unlike the two previous times she had removed his mask, this time Christine slowly untied it from behind Erik’s head and gently lifted it away. Feeling him tense as she removed it, even in the dark, she quickly got back to the business of kissing him, hoping it would distract him.

As she had hoped, their kiss grew passionate again, even more quickly than it had earlier that evening. Soon they were lying very close together with their arms wrapped around one another, and Christine was very much ready for more. Her instinct told her that she would have to make the next move, though.

While her actual experience with the sexual act was quite limited, Christine was far from ignorant. One didn’t work at an opera house for an extended period of time and not hear things, and she had heard a lot. Feeling scandalously bold, she dared to reach out and brush her fingers over the front of the trousers that Erik had worn to bed. To her delight, he seemed to be every bit as erect as he had been earlier, but that feeling was short-lived as he gasped and pulled back from her. “Christine!”

She had the nearly uncontrollable urge to giggle at Erik’s shocked tone, but managed to restrain herself. Making him think she was laughing at him would no doubt send him fleeing from the room entirely, but after the _interesting_ life that Erik had led, to hear him react like a scandalized society matron was almost too much. “What?” she instead asked as innocently as she could manage.

It seemed her normally eloquent husband and teacher was at a loss for words, however. “I...you...you shouldn’t…” he muttered nervously. 

“Why not? We’re married, and this is what married couples do.” At least she thought they did. Then she froze as an unwelcome thought struck her - one thing she had gleaned from all the conversations she had overheard at the opera was that men seemed to have little control over their baser urges. What if Erik didn’t _want_ to respond to her like that? “Unless, you don’t want me…” she trailed off, now feeling foolish. Some seductress she was turning out to be!

Erik had been awash in a mixture of lust and shame to the point he could hardly think straight, but hearing Christine question his desire for her in a small voice focused his attention. As ever, he couldn’t stand the thought of her being upset. “No, no, Petite, that’s not it. I do want you, very much.” In his haste to comfort her, he used the pet name he hadn’t called her by since she thought he was her angel. “I just didn’t think you’d ever want Erik _that_ way.”

Her heart having warmed at hearing his old nickname for her, Christine felt her earlier boldness return. “Well, I do.” And she leaned in and kissed him once again.

To her surprise, now that he knew she wanted this, Erik became much more assertive with her, soon stripping her of her nightgown and gently moving her to her back. As he resumed their kiss, he brought his hand to her breasts, teasing back and forth between them before beginning to toy with her nipples. Christine had already noticed that they were more sensitive than they had been before her pregnancy, but she wasn’t prepared for how good Erik’s long fingers felt as he played with her, and soon she was moving restlessly on the bed.

Erik wasn’t sure if he had fallen into some kind of fever dream, but he knew that if he had, he never wanted to wake up. His sweet Christine was welcoming his attentions in a way that he had never dared hope she would, and it was intoxicating, to say the least. He was very grateful that his insatiable desire to learn had driven him to extensive research on sexual intercourse over the course of his life, although he had never thought he would find a willing partner for himself. Even though he had no practical experience, he was hopeful he knew enough that he would be able to please the sweet angel in his arms.

Keeping his studies in mind, he ran a hand down her midsection, caressing over the curve at her stomach before slipping lower. As he slid his fingers over her folds, Erik couldn’t help feeling a little proud of himself. Christine was warm and wet between her thighs, and he knew that that was something that happened when a woman wanted her husband. Heady with the knowledge that, as incredible as it seemed, Christine did desire him, Erik lowered his head to lick and kiss at her nipples as he began to work his fingers inside her.

Christine was nearly overwhelmed at the sensations Erik was arousing in her, and when he slid a finger through the folds at the top of her channel she couldn’t stop herself from crying out when he brushed over the little nub hidden there.

When he heard her cry, Erik froze. Was he doing this wrong? Why would he think he could please Christine like a normal man? Just before he was about to pull away from her and apologize, Christine surprised him with a breathy demand.

“Yes, please don’t stop, Erik, right there,” she moaned, lifting her hips toward his hand. Helpless to resist her as always, he slid a slender finger back into her channel and sought out her clitoris with his thumb once more.

In some part of her mind, Christine knew she was writhing on the bed and begging Erik to pleasure her in a very unladylike way, but what he was doing felt so good that she couldn’t bring herself to care. It put all her past attempts at self-pleasure to shame, and she wanted more of his long fingers.

Erik’s instincts told him that Christine was nearing her crisis. Hoping that he had stretched her tight channel enough that she would be able to take his member somewhat comfortably, he stopped his ministrations to her, this time ignoring her gasping protest, and moved to position his cock at her entrance. “Tell me if this hurts, Christine,” he murmured, slowly inching his way into her. 

Although her sheath squeezing him tightly was nearly undoing him, Erik forced himself to stay still for a moment once he was as deep inside her as he could go. When Christine began to move restlessly beneath him he took that as his cue and started working himself in and out of her. When he felt he wouldn’t be able to last for much longer, he reached between their bodies so he could manipulate her little clit again, and soon she cried out as he felt her begin to spasm. Hoping that meant he had satisfied her, he slid himself all the way inside her and let his orgasm overtake him.

When it was done, he collapsed to her side, careful to continue to keep his weight off the bump of her stomach, and was happily surprised when she turned her head and blindly sought his lips with hers. When they pulled back from the tender kiss, he was pleased when she made a sweet little sound, as though she was telling him she had enjoyed what they just shared.

“I’ll be right back, Petite,” he whispered as he slid from the bed to go retrieve a towel from the bathroom. Once he had helped her clean up, and quickly wiped himself off, Erik hesitantly settled back down beneath the covers and was gratified when she snuggled up against his side.

Hoping he was reading her correctly, he somewhat awkwardly reached the arm she was lying next to around her shoulders, and guessed it was the right decision when she gently laid her head on his shoulder. “Good night, Angel,” she whispered sweetly, echoing the words she used to utter when he left her side so many times in the past, in what seemed almost another life now. Never would Erik have truly dreamed that one day his sweet girl would be content to sleep in his arms, but it appeared that she was.

He opened his mouth to return her pleasantry, but it seemed no words would fit around the lump in his throat. Instead, Erik dared to press a reverent kiss to her forehead as an answer instead as he felt her drift closer to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank everyone who has interacted with this story, it truly means a lot to me, please feel free to continue to do so if you would like :) And as always, thank you for reading!


	5. Chapter 5

Despite the fact that he lived five cellars underneath the opera house, Erik had the ability to sense the general time of day even without being able to see a clock, and when he awoke, he knew it was still night. Remarkably, he could tell he had slept for three or four hours, which for him was an exceptional length of time. It must be due to having his Christine sleeping beside him, he mused. 

As he lay there next to her, though, Erik felt his insecurities began to rise. Christine had rolled away from him in her sleep, as though she were unconsciously trying to get away from him. What if Christine regretted what they had done when she woke up? Would she be horrified to find a monster in her bed? He nearly left her alone then and there, but stopped himself as he realized that she was lying fully across the arm he had previously wrapped around her. If he moved he would surely wake her, and that was the last thing Erik wanted to do. 

Although Christine seemed much healthier now than she had when she first returned to his home, he was very aware that his tiny wife was going to be giving birth in around three months time, and depriving her of any sleep didn’t seem like something a good husband would do. After a period of time passed with Erik still debating what to do, the question was decided for him.

He felt Christine shift and knew she had woken up. Holding his breath, Erik waited to see if she would scream when she felt his arm under her, but she remained silent. Seemingly as quietly as she could, he felt her slip from the bed. Humiliation washed over him as he realized she was trying to flee the completely dark room without waking him, and he nearly called out for her to stop, that he would go instead, but then he realized she wasn’t inching toward the door to the hallway, but rather toward her attached bathroom. 

She slipped through the door and shut it completely before he heard her turn the lamps on. Was his dear Christine trying to be considerate and not wake him? Erik felt a warmth in his chest at the thought, although he told himself not to read too much into her actions. Christine was very kind, he cautioned himself. No doubt she would treat a dog on the street with the same care, it was just part of who she was. Still, some hopeful part of his brain compelled him to remain in her bed, instead of slinking out the door while he had the opportunity.

When she had finished in the bathroom, she silently opened the door just wide enough for her to step out, and then pushed it back nearly shut, leaving just a glimpse of the light she had left on inside. With the room now slightly illuminated, her return to the bed was much faster, and Erik’s heart clenched as she pulled back the covers and slowly moved close to him once again. When Christine delicately laid her head back on his shoulder and made a sleepy little noise, Erik couldn’t stop himself from wrapping his arm around her as he tried to swallow down the lump that had returned to his throat.

*****

The next time Christine awoke, she found herself alone in her bed. Although disappointed that Erik wasn’t next to her after the passionate night they had shared, she cautioned herself not to read too much into his absence - she knew Erik didn’t sleep very much, after all. Trying to ignore the nervous feeling growing in her stomach, she moved into her bathroom to prepare for the day.

When Christine left her room, she went in search of Erik and found him in the kitchen. When she saw the dishes already set on the table and his tall form at the stove, she felt a little bit better. Maybe he hadn’t wanted to get away from her, after all, but had simply wanted to have breakfast ready for her when she woke up.

She felt some disappointment when he turned to greet her and she saw he was wearing his mask. Christine had hoped that maybe they had gotten to the point where he wouldn’t feel the need to wear it when they were alone together, but apparently they hadn’t gotten that far yet. Deciding that since her new, bolder approach had worked with Erik last night, she would continue in that vein, she returned his greeting and crossed the room to give him a kiss on his masked cheek before she took her place at the table.

Erik had risen before Christine woke up, his insecurities finally taking control to drive him from her side, hoping that if he had a nice breakfast prepared for her it would soften the disgust she was no doubt feeling after contemplating what they had done the night before in the light of day, or what would be the light of day if they weren’t underground, anyway. So his already roiling emotions were certainly not soothed by her walking over and kissing him on the cheek like a normal wife would to her husband. Reminding himself that he was supposed to be acting like a regular man and not the raging maniac he truly was, he carried over a plate of eggs and toast and set it before her. “Here you go, my dear.”

Christine gave him a bright smile, knocking him even more off-kilter. “Thank you, Erik! It looks delicious.” Once she had gotten used to having all the food she needed again after her return to Erik's home, she had found her appetite growing larger, so she took a few appreciative bites and then looked over at her husband, who had settled across from her with only a cup of tea, which he was sipping awkwardly as he avoided looking directly at her. Gathering her courage, Christine decided to push ahead. 

“Erik, why don’t you take off your mask and eat with me? I get so lonely always having to eat alone.”

“Erik always sits with Christine when she has her meals,” Erik replied nervously, shifting a little in his chair. 

Although it was obvious to Christine that Erik was growing increasingly uncomfortable with their conversation by his switch to referring to the two of them in third-person, she pressed forward as gently as she could. “Yes, but sometimes it’s a little...strange…just to have someone sit and watch me eat.” Sensing a tact that might work with him, she continued, “it would make me so happy to have someone to actually eat with.”

Erik merely stared at her, at a loss. He couldn’t imagine any scenario where Christine could possibly enjoy staring at his miserable face while she ingested food, but he had a sense that his little wife had realized that he had very little power to deny her anything she asked for. As he gaped at her, wondering how to get around her request, she whispered the one word that he was powerless against.

“Please?”

With a jerky nod of his head, Erik silently rose from the table and went to the stove to take a modest portion of the food he had prepared. When he sat back down across from her, he took a deep breath and removed his mask, setting it down on the table next to his plate. Unable to meet her gaze, he took his fork and used it to move the eggs on his plate around before spearing a tiny piece with it. Lifting it to his mouth, he closed his eyes and wished this whole disastrous meal was over.

Even though Erik wasn’t looking at her, once he took a bite of his food Christine again smiled brightly at him. “Well, today I thought I’d go visit Meg for a while. Maybe we’ll even walk outside for a bit if it isn’t too chilly.” Pausing to take a bite, she continued, “Mhm, these eggs _are_ delicious, Erik.” Her husband really was quite the cook, in addition to his many other talents.

With his nerves already rattled from their entire interaction that morning, as well as the night before, Erik had no idea what to make of Christine’s pleasant conversation. Had she somehow forgotten that she had let a deformed monster have his way with her last night? And now the same monster was sitting across the breakfast table from her, and she was acting as though she were enjoying his company. Erik stiffened as a possible explanation for her behavior crossed his mind.

“Christine, I feel I must apologize for last night,” he began, forcing himself to get the words out instead of fleeing from the room as he wanted to do. Despite his discomfort, his priority must be to soothe his dear Christine. She had already been through so much, he couldn’t let her continue on with any more fear if he could help it. “I...took advantage of you, I’m afraid.”

When she opened her mouth, he spoke again before she could argue with him. “And I want you to know that I will never approach you like that again, or expect anything of that nature from you. Erik was a beast to force his desires on you, and he won’t do it again.” There, he hoped that would reassure her that she needn’t try to placate him out of fear of what he might do to her any longer.

She merely stared at him for a long moment, a look couldn’t read on her lovely face. “Erik, let me be clear - first of all, there was no forcing involved. I...was quite happy with what occurred last night.” Christine could feel her face flushing red at her words, but she kept talking - this was too important not to continue. “And if either of us took advantage of the other, I think that was me. Maybe I should apologize to you, if you didn’t like what we did.”

He gasped, “No! Christine owes Erik no apologies! Of course _he_ liked what happened.”

Christine felt a smile that she couldn’t contain curl her lips. “I’m pleased to hear you liked it. Then can I assume that you wouldn’t object if _I_ approached _you_ in that manner in the future?” A giggle escaped her when all Erik could do was nod silently. It wasn’t often her angel was at a loss for words. “Very well, then I definitely will be doing so. Most likely tonight.”

The look of complete shock on her husband’s face was so adorable that Christine couldn’t contain herself. She simply had to get up from her chair and give him a kiss. When she pulled back from his lips, she smiled as Erik’s arms came around her and he buried his face in her shoulder, as though he was simply happy to be allowed to touch her. When she wrapped her arms around him in return, her heart gave an unpleasant lurch at the way he stiffened at her embrace. Her poor Erik still didn’t expect her to want to be near him. Careful to keep her overflowing emotions for him from showing in her voice, she placed her lips next to his ear and whispered, “Actually, tonight might not be soon enough. I may have to _approach_ you this afternoon.”

The way Erik’s arms tightened around her told her everything she needed to know about his feelings toward that idea.

*****

As the next weeks passed Christine continued to enjoy her daily activities, spending time with Erik engaged in their mutual interests of music and reading, and having conversations about a wide variety of topics. Now that they were growing even more comfortable together, she was reminded of how well they seemed to just _fit_ together. And she routinely visited Meg, going for walks outside when the weather was warm enough, and Madame Giry, who was proving to be a mentor to Christine on the subject of motherhood. Thankfully, Madame was happy to answer any questions she had, because Christine knew next to nothing about babies before they started their discussions.

Even more delightfully, now their nights were also very enjoyable. Despite his initial fears about being intimate with her, once Erik realized she truly desired him, her mercurial husband had started to take his marital duties _very_ seriously. He seemed to think of pleasuring her as an art form, and Erik was nothing if not a talented artist. 

He even showed Christine a book she had never noticed before in his library, despite his being obviously uncomfortable. As she gazed wide-eyed at the pictures inside of men and women in more numerous sexual scenarios than she had ever dreamed existed, her husband cleared his throat. “Anything that Christine sees that she would like to try, Erik would be more than happy to do so.” Although she felt that they both might expire from embarrassment, she hesitantly showed him a picture she found particularly intriguing.

After they recreated the scene from the book, they began experimenting with more methods of pleasing each other, finding ways to work around her ever-expanding waistline. To Christine’s delight, she soon found that Erik had become comfortable enough with her that he was willing to remove his clothing to make love to her, even with a dim candle burning across the room.

When Christine shyly asked him to undress before they made love one evening, Erik felt his heart drop. Although the thought of being skin-to-skin with his Christine was nearly intoxicating, his sweet wife had no idea what she was asking. “Christine wouldn’t want to see Erik like that,” he cringed, thinking of her inevitable reaction when she saw his scarred, thin body.

“I do want to. You see me naked all the time, Erik. It’s only fair.”

While he had all but accepted Christine getting her way in their interactions as inevitable, Erik still tried to rebuke her argument. “But Christine is very beautiful, and Erik is...not.” Cringing at that understatement, he saw Christine was simply staring at him encouragingly. Unable to resist the sweet entreaty in her eyes, he sighed and hesitantly but quickly stripped his clothes away before joining her under the bed covers.

Erik closed his eyes and turned his head from her, afraid he would see disgust on Christine’s darling face if he looked at her. A moment later, he started in surprise as he felt her press a gentle kiss to his ruined cheek, and his eyes flew open in shock as his wife started kissing her way down his neck, and then moved the blankets aside to press kisses to his chest. When she began tenderly kissing each of his scars, Erik could bear it no longer, wrapping his arms around Christine and kissing her passionately, thrilling to her eager response.

Although Christine was feeling very well overall during this stage of her pregnancy, some days she had more energy than others, and despite her enjoyment of Erik’s attentions, one night she simply wanted to go to sleep once she went to bed. When Erik slipped into bed beside her and moved to kiss her neck, she had to gently tell him that she wasn’t feeling well enough to be intimate that evening.

Erik stiffened next to her at her words. “Of course, Christine.” 

To her confusion, as she started to settle in to fall asleep, he got back out of the bed. “Where are you going?” she asked sleepily. “You just lay down.”

“Erik will leave you in peace,” he said awkwardly, and Christine’s heart dropped. Did he think she was sending him away from her?

“I still want you here with me, Erik. I would be very lonely sleeping without you, you know.”

Erik’s only answer was a slight smile as he rejoined her in the bed, but the way he put his arm around her as she settled into her preferred sleeping position with her back to him told Christine that her husband was happy to be exactly where he was. Closing her eyes, she drifted off to sleep as she felt Erik nestle his face into her curls.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So when I started this story, I thought it would be four or five chapters long. I guess I'm pretty bad at estimating, because we've hit chapter 5 and still have quite a way to go :) But I'm okay with that because I am having the best time writing this, and I hope you all are continuing to enjoy it as well. As always, any comments are appreciated, and thank you for reading!


	6. Chapter 6

Christine sat in her chair in the library, a forgotten book in her lap as she stared pensively into the burning fireplace in front of her. A subject she had been willfully ignoring in the last few months since she had reunited with Erik had entered her mind that evening, and she found herself unable to force it from her mind tonight.

Stealing a quick glance, she saw that her husband appeared deep in concentration on the book he was reading. Wishing she could say the same, she returned her gaze to the fire.

Erik was a complicated man, and while she knew a life with him wouldn’t always be easy, so far it was proving to be a happy one overall, but there were some concerns lingering in the back of her mind. Although it seemed counter-intuitive, on some level she worried that they had too quickly fallen into an easy partnership, the compatibility between them rising to the surface again so soon after they were reunited.

Maybe she was worried about nothing? Many women could only dream of having a husband as attentive as Erik, she knew. And it seemed to Christine that the path they were on now was one they had been headed on in the past, back before Raoul re-entered her life, when it was just her and her former angel, back when he gave her singing lessons and they spent so much time together.

But the fact was, Raoul _had_ come back into her life, and the actions of all three of them had led to one disaster after another. Now she was back with her angel, where she knew without a doubt she wanted to be, but it felt as if she and Erik had taken a scissors to the fabric of their time together, simply cutting out a portion from the middle that neither of them wanted to think about, piecing their earlier happy times together with the present. 

While she was enjoying their current relationship, surely the hurts they had each caused the other were going to rise again at some point? There was no pretending that it hadn’t happened - after all, in a few months’ time she was going to be giving birth to Raoul’s child. Wondering if she dared bring it all up, so they could have everything out in the open, she glanced at Erik again, but he didn’t notice her looking at him. Looking at his profile, Christine felt her courage fail her at the thought of destroying the peace between them. She would bring it up in the future, she decided, when the time was right - she had plenty of other things to think about, anyway, with a baby on the way.

Erik pretended to concentrate on the book he was holding, but he could feel Christine’s gaze land on him several times throughout the evening. When he dared to steal a glance at her, however, she was gazing into the fire, deep in thought. He wanted to ask what was troubling her, but was afraid to know the answer. Was she missing the vicomte? Reflecting that if that was the case, he definitely didn’t care to know, he resumed staring blindly at his book.

Although maybe that wasn’t what was on her mind. He hadn’t necessarily noticed that Christine seemed to be spending much time thinking of other things when they spent time together, tonight notwithstanding. For what must be the thousandth time, he opened his mouth and nearly told her that he loved her, but managed to stop himself. His love had only frightened her in the past, Erik reminded himself. And while Christine certainly must know he loved her after he had told her so many times before, surely it was best not to make her uncomfortable by blurting out his feelings again.

Why did he have to be such an ungrateful wretch, anyway? He had more now than he had ever truly dreamed of having, certainly more than he deserved. Christine was with him willingly, she seemed happy to spend time with him, and, most unbelievable of all, she even seemed to enjoy being intimate with him. Why was he fixating on the fact that she didn’t return his love?

Having decided that it was not the night to bring up the past, Christine’s thoughts continued to focus on another topic related to her husband. Their practically blissful days and nights together had only served to make her love him even more than she had before, and she was having to stop herself lately from telling him how much she did. Surely Erik wouldn’t believe her, even if she told him she had realized he was the one she wanted before she learned of her pregnancy. No doubt he would think she was merely telling him what she thought he wanted to hear, and she feared it would make him pull away from her.

And then there was the painful reality that it was clear that Erik no longer loved her. In their previous time together, he had told her he did at every opportunity, but since she had returned to him he hadn’t mentioned it at all, which said all she needed to know. Christine told herself to count her blessings: she and her baby had a secure home, and she had Erik’s friendship and company. Why couldn’t she stop mourning the love that she herself was at least partially responsible for destroying?

Shaking her head to try to clear her thoughts, she rose from her chair to prepare for bed, only to let out a small gasp as she felt the baby make a particularly stronger movement than usual. Erik leapt up from his seat and grasped her elbow. “Christine! Are you all right?”

Feeling touched that he was so concerned for her, Christine quickly reassured him. “Oh, yes, it’s just that this little one surprised me,” and without thinking she took his hand and placed it where she could feel the baby kicking.

Erik nearly reeled back when he felt her infant pushing against his hand so strongly, but managed to check himself. Although he knew Christine had been feeling it move for some time now, it was the first time he had felt it so clearly, and it drove home to him that this child would be arriving in just a few months.

Christine felt her heart melt a little at the slightly stunned look in Erik’s eyes when he met her gaze. “We need to make some plans, don’t we, my dear?” At his soft words, she reached out and hugged him as best she could, turning sideways to slide an arm around him, and was thrilled when he put an arm around her in return, while still caressing her stomach with his other hand.

*****

After Erik felt the baby move, he wasted no time in bringing home a beautiful wooden cradle. Christine could tell he was nervous when he called for her to come look at it. “Do you like it, Petite?” he asked hesitantly. “Maybe I should have asked you first, but I saw this and I thought-”

“It’s beautiful, Erik,” she interrupted gently. “I love it.” 

They also discussed how they would handle the logistics of her giving birth. Although everything would have been much simpler if the house Erik was having built for them was ready for them to move into, it was much too soon for that. Christine and Madame Giry had already discussed the situation, and the solution they had come up with seemed the best possible one under the circumstances to Erik as well.

It was decided that the best course of action was to set up a bed temporarily in Christine’s old dressing room, and plan for her to deliver the baby there. That way would make it easier for the midwife whose services Madame Giry had helped them procure to attend the birth, and for Madame as well. And Erik would have easy access to the room through the mirror. Of course, this could go wrong if Christine’s labor progressed too fast and she was unable to get upstairs, but Madame Giry thought if Erik escorted her up as soon as she showed signs of starting labor, she would be able to make the walk.

On some level, Christine felt both prepared for the baby’s arrival, and completely unprepared. What if she forgot everything that Madame had told her, and neglected to do something essential for the baby? And then there was the matter of Erik - although he had been so caring toward her, she still wondered how he would feel about the baby once it was born. Although he had never so much as hinted anything negative in his feelings toward it, the fact remained that it was the natural child of a man he hated, not to mention the fact that he had had very little positive interactions with people. Would he be able to form any kind of a bond with it? Maybe it was unfair of her to expect Erik to have an emotional attachment to the infant, though. Giving her and the baby food, shelter, and security was far more than most men would have done in his position, so maybe she should be content with that.

Telling herself that there was nothing to be done right at this moment anyway, Christine tried to tell herself not to worry that far into the future, and to just try to take each day as it came.

*****

Christine threw her head back on the pillow and let out a low moan as Erik’s talented mouth worked its magic between her thighs. Her husband seemed to enjoy nothing that they did in the bedroom quite as much as he did this, and when it felt so good she certainly wasn’t going to say no to him. When he sensed that she was drawing close to her climax, Erik gently pulled away from her to move up the bed, melting her heart as he paused to press a soft kiss to her the mound of her ever-expanding stomach, giving her hope that maybe he was growing to care for her baby.

When he gently helped her move to her side so he could enter her from behind, though, all thoughts flew out of Christine’s head as he began slowly moving inside of her. Once Erik reached around to slowly but firmly circle his finger on her pearl, it was only a few moments before she felt her orgasm begin to wash over her, and as she was easing through her spasms she felt Erik join her, releasing himself inside her.

After Erik had helped her clean up and get comfortable for sleeping, he moved back into his by-now familiar position at her back. Christine smiled to herself as he kissed her shoulder and placed one hand lovingly on her belly. Ever since the night he had felt the baby kick so hard, Erik had been touching her stomach more and more, and she loved the feeling it gave her, that maybe he was starting to feel an attachment for the child.

Floating closer to sleep, feeling content and cared for in Erik’s arms, Christine brought up a subject she had been thinking about lately, but hadn’t broached with Erik yet. “What do you think we should name the baby, Angel?”

Erik barely restrained himself from flinching and moving away from her, but he managed to keep his voice even. “I’m sure any name you choose will be wonderful, my dear.” Although his feelings about her babe were no clearer to him than they had been before, he knew this was an opportunity to make her _think_ he cared, and he must take advantage of it.

“Well,” she said in a dreamy voice, “if it’s a boy, I would like to name him Gustave, after my father.”

“That’s a splendid choice, Christine.” Splendid? Was he overdoing it? But she seemed happy with his response.

“Oh good, I’m glad you like it. So, I was thinking, since I picked the boy’s name, maybe you would like to pick a name for a girl?” Although Christine had been careful to keep her tone light, she held her breath waiting for Erik’s response.

“I...Christine, surely you would want to name her? And, anyway, Erik knows nothing about naming a child.”

Christine had to hold back a laugh at that peculiar statement. “Erik, I don’t think you have to _know_ anything to name a child. You just have to pick a name. What’s a name you like?”

“Christine. It’s the most beautiful name in the world.” Erik had no doubts about the veracity of that statement, at least. And although he meant it as merely a statement of fact, his heart clenched at the musical giggle that escaped his wife’s lips.

“Besides that, Angel. I would want her to have her own name, not mine.” Her tone grew more serious. “It would mean so much to me if you would do this.” Christine swallowed, not wanting to tell him that she hoped this would help Erik feel closer to the baby. Most men would be too proud to consider raising another man’s child, but Erik had taken them in, and he seemed interested in the baby, at least. Maybe it was unrealistic, but she couldn’t help the hope in her heart that Erik could be a father in more than name to this little one. “Please, Angel?”

He couldn’t have said where his answer came from, but, once again helpless to deny his dear Christine anything, he replied, “What do you think about...Claire?” Erik held his breath after he asked the question. Was that a stupid suggestion? Would Christine scoff at the idea that she had thought he could name her child?

Christine had to take a moment to compose herself. Maybe Erik really was starting to care, she thought hopefully. “I love it, Erik. It’s perfect.”

As Christine felt sleep start to drift over her, she revelled in the feeling of her husband’s arm around her and his cool form at her back, as well as in the hope he had given her by indulging her wish about naming a girl. Maybe everything would be all right for them, despite all that they had gone through.

Erik was feeling nowhere near as serene as his wife, however. Choosing a name for a potential little girl had driven home the fact that soon there would be another person living in his house, however tiny he or she might be. His experience with other people was almost wholly terrible, Christine notwithstanding, and even that relationship had certainly been rocky. There were a few other people, such as Madame Giry and the Daroga, who had tolerated him, but the only person in the world who had actually wanted to be his friend was the girl sleeping in his arms.

Up until this point, he had only thought of how he could use the child to make Christine love him, that surely if she thought he doted on her offspring that would only work in his favor. What he hadn’t considered until now, though, was that this child wouldn’t stay an infant forever. It would grow up, and once it did...well, mathematically the odds weren’t in Erik’s favor. Nearly everyone he had ever met had despised him, and this child’s true father was firmly in that category. 

Had Christine asked him to give a name to someone who would only grow up to hate him? Would Christine stay with him once she realized her child hated and feared Erik? How had he ever thought this could work? Questions raged through his fevered mind with no answers, but he took a small hope in one idea.

Maybe, mercifully, the baby would be a boy, and he wouldn’t have to hear Christine call it by the name he had picked out while he would have to stay in the background, forced to be apart from the only person he had ever loved and her child, even while they lived in his house - for as long as she chose to stay, anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for continuing to read this story! As always, I would love to hear your thoughts!


	7. Chapter 7

“Christine, it’s a girl. You have a perfect daughter.” Madame Giry held the screaming red infant up for them to see before she and the midwife started fussing over it before handing the child to Christine, but all Erik could focus on was his wife. Even though it was practically unheard of, he had stayed with Christine throughout her delivery. The only thing that possibly could have induced him to leave her side would have been if she had asked him to go, but she had begged him to stay, so no force on Earth could have removed him from her.

His relief at the birth having gone well was nearly overwhelming. Only now that it was over was he able to acknowledge the fear he had had that something would go wrong. But his Christine had done well, and she seemed perfectly healthy as she eagerly stared at her baby.

When Giry brought the swaddled babe over and handed it to Christine, the look of adoration on her sweet face was almost more than Erik could take. Although he certainly had no experience with one himself, there was no doubt in his mind that she would be a loving mother. Raising her shining eyes to him, she said, “Look, Angel, isn’t she beautiful?”

Finally dragging his eyes back to the child, he eyed the red little thing doubtfully, but Erik didn’t think now was the time for complete honesty, so he agreed, “Oh, yes, she’s lovely,” and pressing a kiss to his wife’s forehead, he added, “and so are you, Petite.” That much was true, at least.

When Giry came over to help Christine clean up and change into a fresh nightgown, she handed him the baby. Although Erik wanted to refuse to hold it, he knew he couldn’t, but once he had her in his arms, he couldn’t deny that it just felt _right._ This little innocent _needed_ him, he realized suddenly as he stared at her.

When Christine was ready, he reluctantly handed the infant back to her, only to be entranced as she laid the babe against her chest. Erik watched in fascination as she eventually found Christine’s breast and started feeding, tentatively sitting on the edge of the bed so he could slip an arm around her shoulders. Although it still seemed unbelievable, his lovely girl actually wanted him here for this beautiful moment with her and her sweet child, and he felt a lump in his throat as emotions coursed through him. Maybe all his fears and doubts had been for naught.

*****

Christine and the baby stayed in the makeshift bedroom in her dressing room for a few days, just to make sure no unforeseen complications developed and to help Christine get a little of her strength back. She was enchanted with her new daughter, as well as thrilled at the way Erik seemed fascinated with the baby, and was eager to get back to the house on the lake where they would spend their first months as a family before their new home was finished.

When she felt strong enough to make the return trip, Erik insisted on walking her down first, taking her to the lake and rowing her across, since that would be the shortest distance for her to have to travel.

Christine agreed, but she thought she could carry the baby down at the same time, and told him so.

The half-panicked look on his face surprised her. “No! Christine, we can’t take the baby across the lake. What if she fell in?”

“Have you ever had anything fall out of the boat before? I mean, I would be holding her.”

“Well, no, but we can’t risk it! She’s too precious, Christine. I truly think it’d be best if I escort you down first while Madame Giry stays with the baby, and then I’ll come back for her immediately and bring her down the Rue Scribe tunnel. And if you need me to carry you on the way down, we won’t have to worry about her. I’ll keep her safe, Christine.” The way he said the last bit broke her heart a little, as though he thought she didn’t trust him to keep little Claire safe.

“Oh, Angel, I know you will. I suppose I’m just nervous to be apart from her, even for such a short time, but I’m sure it’ll work out fine.”

*****

After Erik accompanied his darling wife back to their house and got her settled in her bedroom, he kissed her forehead and promised to be back as soon as possible.

He quickly returned to the dressing room, where Madame Giry was cuddling the baby. When she saw he was ready to take her below, she wrapped Claire up in several blankets to protect her from the cold outside, and they set off for the Rue Scribe entrance. Although Erik wanted to hold her, he let Giry carry her as they walked briskly to the gate, as he was afraid a masked man carrying a baby would undoubtedly draw negative attention, even though the walk was short.

When they reached the gate, Giry pulled back the blankets just enough to reveal Claire’s sweet face, pressing a kiss to her cheek and whispering, “I’ll see you soon, sweetheart.” Then she handed him the baby, looking in his eyes in her no-nonsense way. “I’m very proud of you, Erik. Christine and this little angel needed a husband and a father, and I’m so glad you’re able to be that for them.”

Erik looked in her eyes and nodded, too overwhelmed to respond, but he could tell Giry understood as she took her leave from them. He entered the gate and paused to look down at the sleeping infant bundled in his arms. Giry had called him a father. Could he be one? He felt a clenching in his heart as he gazed at the baby, and realized how much he wanted that, to be a father to her.

Just as he was about to laugh at how ridiculous he had been by thinking he was going to have to pretend to love such a sweet darling, she opened her little eyes. “Hello, there, did someone wake up?” he cooed, lifting her up higher against his chest. Just as he was taking the first step to carry her home, she opened her mouth and let out a screaming cry.

Erik tried to soothe her as he had seen Christine do, but it didn’t seem to help - if anything it just seemed to make her scream more. He even tried moving her to hold her against his shoulder, in case it was his mask that was frightening her, but Claire continued to cry louder than ever.

By the time they reached the house, Erik had come to a painful realization: this sweet, innocent baby could obviously sense that a monster was carrying her, and she was terrified. Hating himself for putting her through such a traumatic experience when she was only a few days old, he couldn’t get to the bedroom for Christine to comfort her soon enough, but before he reached the room she heard Claire screaming and came down the hallway in a rush. 

“Oh, you poor little darling!” Motioning for Erik to follow her, still holding the screeching child, she went to her chair in the library, and reached out for him to hand her the baby. After she got her dress situated and Claire settled at her breast, she smiled and looked up to make a comment to Erik about the little girl already showing the lung capacity of a singer, but he had already left the room. Well, no doubt a crying baby was unsettling for him, she told herself. Of course they would both need some time to adjust, but Erik in particular had probably never imagined himself in this situation. Christine was thrilled with how caring he was toward the baby already, she thought as she returned her attention to marveling over the sweet infant in her arms.

When Erik saw that Claire stopped crying nearly immediately once Christine took her from him, he was devastated. Whatever hope he had been holding on to that she wasn’t crying because of him died a swift death, and he quickly moved into the hallway out of Christine’s sight before she saw the tears that had started to run down his face. What a fool he had been, to think that the vicomte’s child would be anything but horrified by him. Why had he let himself start to care for her and think he could truly be a father to her? When would he learn to accept the truth that things that normal people took for granted, like a wife and child to love, would never be possible for him?

*****

When they first returned to the house on the lake, Christine spent her days simply adjusting to having an infant to care for, with nearly all of her focus remaining on Claire, but after a few weeks had passed, she realized an alarming fact: despite the fact that he had seemed to dote on the baby when she had first been born, Christine didn’t think that Erik had held her at all since they had brought her back home.

Once she made the connection, it didn’t take long to realize that she was right - Erik was definitely avoiding interacting with the baby, but he continued to be attentive to Christine’s needs, cooking for her and trying to anticipate everything that might make her life more comfortable. At first she hoped that Erik was merely nervous, and the situation might resolve itself, but after a few days of no improvement she felt she had to take some action.

After she had fed the baby in the evening, Christine carried her into the music room where Erik was composing at the piano. Trying to hide the nervousness she was feeling, she smiled brightly at him, as she greeted him perhaps a bit too loudly. “Hello! What are you doing?”

Although she immediately cringed at the stupidity of her question, Erik mercifully acted as though the answer wasn’t completely obvious. “Just doing a bit of composing, my dear,” as he gave her a distracted smile and returned his attention to his task. It didn’t escape her notice that he looked only at her, his gaze completely avoiding Claire.

“Oh,” she said rather lamely. “I just thought maybe you would want to hold the baby for a while this evening,” as she held the sleepy infant out toward him, but Christine’s nerves and the relatively sudden movement must have startled Claire, and she let out a whimpering cry.

For a second, it looked like Erik was going to reach for the baby, but when she whimpered he dropped his hands. “Now’s not a good time, Christine. Perhaps later.” He returned his attention to the piano, effectively dismissing them both.

Erik pretended to stare at the papers in front of him as he sensed Christine hesitating next to him, not daring to look at her, but after a few moments she silently left the room. Once she was gone, he dropped his head into his hands and rocked back and forth on the piano bench in agony. How had he ended up in such a miserable situation?

It broke his heart to hurt Christine, and he was sure that telling her he was too busy to hold Claire had indeed hurt her. In spite of himself, Erik had nearly reached out to take her from Christine, but the cry the infant had made before he even touched her had recalled him to reality. Although he knew he wouldn’t be able to hide it from Christine forever, he was too ashamed to let her find out that her innocent babe was terrified of him any sooner than he had to.

*****

Christine tried several more ways to get Erik to hold Claire, but she still had no success, and she was starting to feel desperate. What had gone wrong since those first few days when Erik had seemed so enamored of the infant?

Several nights later, Christine was holding the sleeping baby in her chair in front of the fireplace in the library, when Erik walked in. Although he seemed slightly uncomfortable at finding her there, he still pressed a kiss to her forehead, but her heart broke when he once again avoided looking at Claire at all before walking over to peruse the bookshelves.

Feeling completely discouraged, Christine felt tears start to well up in her eyes. Little Claire was such a sweet baby, so darling and innocent. Did Erik want nothing to do with her because of who her natural father was? Although it was true that most men wouldn’t want to raise another man’s child, she had thought that maybe things could be different for them, especially with the hope that Erik had given her when the baby had first been born. Despite her best efforts, a shuddering sob escaped her lips.

When Erik heard her cry, he immediately whirled from the books in front of him and moved to her. “My dear, what is it? Are you all right?”

Raising her tear-filled eyes to his concerned face, Christine asked plaintively, “Why won’t you hold the baby, Erik, or even look at her?”

Erik jerked back as if she had physically attacked him. “I...don’t know what you mean, Christine.” Even to his own ears, his response seemed weak, as he looked away from her, ashamed.

“Then please, Erik, hold her!” When he stumbled back from her, shaking his head, Christine could hold back no longer, although she made an effort to keep her voice low as somehow Claire had not woken up during their exchange. “Please, I’m _begging_ you to hold her!”

When Erik’s only answer was a frantic shake of his head, the sense of hurt and panic she felt was nearly overwhelming. “Why? She’s just an innocent baby, and you seem to _hate_ her!” Ignoring the stricken look in his eyes, Christine continued, “She needs you, Erik, we _both_ need you! Please don’t shut us out this way…” she trailed off, trying to stifle another sob.

Erik turned away from Christine, lowering his head into his hands, unable to bear her pain any longer. Knowing he had to tell her the truth, no matter how humiliating it was, he said, “No, Christine, I don’t hate her. She hates me.”

Of all the things Erik could have said, this was something Christine had never anticipated. “Erik...what do you mean? She’s not even a month old, of course she doesn’t hate you!”

“Well, perhaps she doesn’t hate me _yet,_ but it’s obvious she fears me already, Christine. The day you came back home, she screamed and cried the entire time I carried her.” Even though what he was saying was preposterous, the naked pain in Erik’s voice was clear; Christine could tell he truly believed it.

“Erik, babies cry. She cries when I hold her, sometimes.”

Still facing away from her, Erik shook his head slowly. “No, that day it was more than that. When Madame Giry carried her to the gate, she didn’t cry at all, but once I was alone with her she immediately started wailing. And as soon as you took her from me, she stopped.”

“Oh, Erik, I think she was just hungry. I fed her right away after that. Besides, why would she be afraid of you?”

At that, Erik laughed hopelessly, reaching up and removing his mask as he turned to face her, letting it drop silently to the rug. “You know very well why, Christine. The same reason people who knew nothing of me have hated me on sight. And no doubt such an innocent creature could sense she was being carried by a monster, one that her true father hated.”

Christine felt as though her heart was breaking in two. How had she not seen that Erik was suffering like this? Staring into his eyes, praying that he would believe her, she poured her heart out to him. “She doesn’t hate you, she _doesn’t._ And she won’t, I promise you, not if you’re a father to her.”

There was no denying the look of longing that blazed in Erik’s eyes at her words. “You...truly want me to be a father to her?”

While Christine had thought the answer to that question was obvious from the time she had agreed to marry him, she didn’t think now was the time to point that out. “Of course,” she said gently. “You’re the only father she will ever know.”

Erik’s face grew hopeful for a moment, but then it fell again. “But, what if _she_ doesn’t want that? What if she really is frightened of me?”

“Erik, you just need to hold her again, I think. Will you try, for me?”

When Erik nodded stiffly and moved to sit on the sofa, Christine rose from her chair and crossed to him, silently praying that Claire wouldn’t pick this moment to wake up and start crying. As Christine moved to hand him the baby, he hesitated before taking her. “Should I put my mask back on, do you think?”

Barely able to speak around the lump those words brought to her throat, Christine shook her head. At her action, Erik reached all the way to take the baby and brought her against his chest, although Christine could see the tension in him. Claire chose this moment to blink her eyes open, and Christine saw Erik close his own almost reflexively, as though he feared what the infant would do. 

To Christine’s relief, it appeared her daughter didn’t have any pressing needs, because although she was now awake, she seemed content just being held in Erik’s arms. After a few heartbeats passed without any wailing, Erik cautiously opened his eyes and looked at Christine. “She’s...not crying.”

When Christine merely shook her head no, Erik tore his gaze from her glistening eyes to look at the sweet babe bundled in his arms. She didn’t look scared, he realized, or upset at all. In fact, she even seemed... _content._

Entranced, Erik reached out, intending to stroke his finger over her downy cheek, but when he touched her little hand first, he was stunned when Claire’s tiny fist wrapped around one long finger. 

“Christine, look!”

The awe and adoration in her husband’s tone nearly had Christine breaking down in tears, but she managed to answer him. “See, I told you, Erik, all you had to do was hold her.” As her tears started to fall, she pressed a kiss to Erik’s ruined cheek before laying her head on his shoulder and tucking her hand into his arm, content to just be close to him while he continued to admire the baby.

When Christine curled up against him, Erik took his gaze from Claire long enough to press a tender kiss to his wife’s forehead, trying to express without words everything he was feeling, but he was sure it wasn’t enough. No matter how he tried, he didn’t think there was any way to convey to her how much it meant to him to have Christine here with him, trusting him to be her husband and helping her care for the sweet child in his arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These two...Thank you for continuing to read this story! As always, any comments are appreciated <3


	8. Chapter 8

Much to Christine’s delight, once Erik realized how silly he had been to think that Claire somehow hated him, he instantly seemed to feel the same bond with the baby he had shown right after she had been born. In fact, he thought everything about her was wonderful, as far as Christine could tell.

Although she knew most husbands would consider it the wife’s place, Erik seemed to enjoy helping Christine care for her. When she would cry in the night, he would practically leap from the bed to carry her over to Christine so she could feed her, and then he would lovingly return her to her cradle once she was asleep. He seemed to marvel over everything she did, no matter how small, already convinced that she was very intelligent.

Looking back now, Christine knew that when she had sought out Erik for help, she hadn’t necessarily been thinking clearly when she agreed so quickly to his proposal, although he had given her no cause to regret it. At the time, the prospect of a safe haven for her and her unborn child, as well as the feelings she still harbored for him, had led to her decision to marry him without thinking the matter fully through. As they adjusted to having an infant to care for, Christine sometimes worried that Erik would become impatient or annoyed when he was inconvenienced, but he didn’t seem to be.

In fact, as Christine watched the strange man she had married out of an equally strange mix of love and desperation treat her and her daughter so gently, she realized something: Erik seemed to thrive on simply feeling needed. 

Only one thing weighed at the back of Christine’s mind, although she tried not to dwell on it.

While Erik was nothing but kind and attentive to her, he still never mentioned loving her, although she heard him tell Claire he loved her multiple times every day. Christine could only take this to mean that even though he clearly cared for her as a friend, his love for her must truly be gone for good. Reminding herself that the only person to blame for that _was_ herself didn’t seem to help. While she was truly thrilled that Erik was so taken with the baby, she couldn’t help but want his love to extend to her, also.

For his part, Erik had never been happier, although besides the last few months after Christine returned to him but before the baby was born, that wasn’t saying much. Never, even with all his schemes, had he truly thought she would willingly marry him, let alone seem happy to raise a child with him. Unbelievably, she trusted him to help her care for this precious little girl she had brought into the world, and, even more incredibly, he felt that he was actually _good_ at it. After a lifetime of everyone he met shunning him or worse, to have two people in his life who actually seemed to desire his presence gave a new feeling of purpose to his life.

When Erik considered the fact that he and Christine now had a _family_ , it was more than he could have ever asked for. Which made him feel guilty when he occasionally found himself dwelling on the inescapable fact that she had only come to him out of desperation, that the only reason she and Claire were with him at all was because the foolish vicomte had turned them away.

But, he had to admit, that even if she didn’t love him, Christine seemed happy. She thought of him as a friend again, at least, and Erik reminded himself to be content with that. Having the two of them with him was far more than he deserved, certainly.

*****

Christine woke in the night, automatically reaching for Erik, but the bed was empty beside her. At first she wondered if he might be composing, as she knew inspiration could hit him at any time of the day or night, but when she saw the empty cradle in the dim candlelight, she realized Claire must have grown restless. Since it was a little soon for her to be hungry again, no doubt Erik had taken her to another room to try to let Christine continue to sleep. Having a husband who barely slept did have some advantages when it came to raising a newborn, she mused. Feeling a warmth at the thought of how considerate Erik was to her, she slipped from the room to find her husband and baby.

When she reached the hallway, she followed the sound of Erik’s voice to the library. Once Christine reached the doorway, she paused as she recognized the lullaby that Erik used to sing to _her,_ back when she still thought he was her Angel of Music. Although so much had happened since those days, hearing his song reminded her how safe and protected she had felt with her angel near. Hearing him sing the same comforting words to her daughter - _their_ daughter - while he held her in his large chair before the fireplace just confirmed to Christine that she had made the right choice when she asked Erik for help, no matter how desperate she had been at the time.

As she tried to rein in her emotions, Erik reached the end of the song. Chuckling a little, he spoke to the baby, and it was so sweet that Christine stayed where she was, shamelessly eavesdropping. “You’re still wide awake, aren’t you, my little dear? I think you’re already much too inquisitive for your own good,” he said in an indulgent tone, “just like your mother.”

At that, Christine nearly stepped forward to protest Erik’s teasing, sure that he knew she was listening, but his next words stopped her cold. “I wouldn’t have it any other way, though, you know. I love you and your mama both so very much.”

Erik was completely absorbed with the sweet little girl in his arms who refused to go back to sleep, but a shocked gasp at his last words to her brought his attention back to the world.

Christine crossed the room to stand in front of him, eyes wide. “Erik, you...love me?”

Erik berated himself for not having noticed that she was listening. Normally, he could sense Christine whenever she was near him, to a point that defied logic. Tonight, however, he must have been too absorbed in the baby, and now he felt frantic, afraid that the reminder of his love would scare her. Not that he could blame her, considering the lengths he had gone to in the past, using that love as an excuse to try to control her.

“I’m so sorry, Christine, I won’t say it again, I promise.”

With a look of confusion so adorable that it registered for Erik even in his state of near-panic, she asked, “Why wouldn’t you say that again?”

“I know you don’t want my love, and I don’t blame you, not after the things I did to you. I won’t remind you again, I swear.” Erik looked away in shame, not wanting to see the truth in her lovely eyes.

Suddenly he felt her fingers along his jawline, gently turning his face toward her. Although his instinct was to cringe away from her, he was helpless to resist Christine, as always. “Erik, I love you, too. I thought you didn’t love _me_ anymore.”

Even though her statement was ludicrous, he could see she believed what she was saying. “Christine, why would you think that? You are... _everything_ to me, and you always will be. I thought you knew that. But, you...truly love me?”

In answer, she nudged at him so that he shifted the baby into one arm and opened the other to her, wrapping it around her as she joined their daughter on his lap, nestling her head against his chest. “Oh, Angel, how silly we’ve been. I love you,” she said again.

Knowing he would never tire of hearing his Christine say those words, he squeezed the arm he had around her a little tighter and pressed a kiss to her chestnut curls. When he thought back to all the nights he had sat in this very chair, truly alone in the world, staring into the fire and longing for her, it seemed almost surreal that his sweet girl and their precious baby were both curled up against him, happy to simply be held in his arms. There was no doubt in Erik’s mind that this was a night he would never forget.

*****

“Angel, we’re home.” Erik turned from the sheets of music scattered in front of him at the sound of his wife’s voice, rising to meet her at the door and take the baby from her. He gave them both a kiss on the cheek as he did so, having to stifle his slight amusement at how domestic Christine had made him. Long ago, he had told her that he would be as gentle as a lamb if she would just love him, but he wasn’t sure he had truly believed it, any more than he had actually believed she could ever love him. Apparently he hadn’t been lying to her, after all.

“How was your visit with the Girys? Did they admire this sweet girl an appropriate amount?”

Christine smiled lovingly at the scene before her. The way Erik doted on the baby would never cease to delight her. Her smile faded just a bit, though, as she remembered that she had something to discuss with her husband.

She cleared her throat delicately. “Erik, there is something I wanted to ask you.”

He immediately gave her his full attention. “Of course, my dear,” he said as he gestured for her to precede him into the sitting room. Once they were seated, with Claire settled in his lap, Erik looked at her inquiringly. “What is the matter, my love?”

Although Christine was slightly apprehensive about the conversation she had initiated, hearing Erik call her his love gave her a burst of happiness, and she smiled at him. “Oh, nothing’s wrong, Erik. I just had a question I wanted to ask you.” When he simply gave her a small, encouraging smile, she took a fortifying breath and continued.

“Well, since the weather is getting so much nicer, I thought it would be fun to use that lovely pram you brought home and take Claire to walk in the park tomorrow.”

Erik nodded slowly. “Of course, Christine, that’s a wonderful idea. That’s why I bought it, of course. Do you think Meg or Madame Giry would be able to accompany you?”

“I don’t know, I suppose maybe they could, but I didn’t ask them. I was hoping...you would want to go with us.”

The pleading look in his sweet Christine’s eyes would no doubt be his undoing, but Erik still put up a feeble protest. “I don’t know, my dear. I’m not sure if it's a good idea…” he trailed off uncertainly.

“Oh! I think it would be very nice if we could go as a family.” Although that was argument enough to convince Erik, she continued before he could capitulate to her. “Remember, you told me before that you wanted a wife to take walks with on Sundays. Well, here I am, wanting to walk with you.” Apparently not sensing that she already had total victory over him, Christine continued, “And soon, we’ll be living in our new house anyway, and we’ll need to be outside much more. This will be good experience for that.”

He held up a hand before she could continue into whatever her next argument was going to be. “Very well, my love, we will take a walk tomorrow. As a family.” Christine’s glowing smile at his answer was nearly enough to dispel the anxiety he was feeling at the thought of their planned outing. If it made his dear wife this happy, surely he could get through this without ruining the experience for her. Normal men took walks with their families, and his plan to act as normally as he could around her had worked very well since she returned to him, all things considered.

*****

After Erik locked the gate of the Rue Scribe entrance behind him, he turned to Christine. She laid her hand on his arm, and they started their walk to the nearest park. Erik’s stomach was churning with anxiety, but as they strolled along uneventfully, he started to relax a bit. Although he did receive several strange looks, it seemed that having his pretty, fashionably-dressed wife on his arm as he pushed a baby carriage made people less suspicious of his appearance.

Christine could feel Erik’s tension as she held on to his arm, but he seemed determined to take her and Claire on this walk, and to her relief, he appeared to grow more comfortable as their outing went on, even if he was still somewhat tense. They had a lovely time in the park, although a few people did give his mask a second look. Once they arrived back home, she kissed his cheek after he removed it. “Thank you, Angel, for a lovely outing.”

“The pleasure was all mine, my dear. I hope you want to go again soon?” Christine’s happy agreement and glowing eyes were enough to make all the nervousness he had felt over their excursion more than worth it.

*****

Christine smiled indulgently as she watched her husband, who in turn was admiring their daughter. They were on their fourth or fifth visit to this little park by now, and they had settled into something of a routine, bringing a blanket that they spread under the same tree each time, so that they could play with Claire in its shade.

Erik carefully settled Claire on the blanket between them and looked at Christine. “She looks more and more like you every day, my love.”

Christine looked at the baby questioningly. Although it was hard to say when Claire was still so young, she couldn’t say that she had noticed a resemblance between them. In fact, now that the baby was a few months old, sometimes Christine thought she detected a hint of…

Quickly changing her train of thought, Christine asked doubtfully, “Do you really think so? I can’t say that I see that, at least not yet.”

Erik stroked one long finger gently over Claire’s almost completely bald head. “Well, maybe she is going to take after Erik.” 

Christine’s gaze snapped up to her husband’s face, but he was still looking at the baby. Was Erik attempting to be humorous for what was surely the first time in their entire acquaintance, or had he lost touch with reality and forgotten that he wasn’t Claire’s natural father? 

“After you?” Christine asked weakly.

“It was a jest, Christine. Don’t you know that Erik is quite funny?”

When Christine’s only answer was to blink her slightly wide eyes, Erik sighed. “My dear, if I have to explain all my jokes to you, I fear they will lose some of their effectiveness.”

When she rewarded him with a somewhat startled giggle, Erik smiled back at her, feeling pride that he could make his sweet Christine laugh. Who could have ever dreamed they could get to this point? “I love you, Christine,” he said softly, and she rewarded him with a tremulous smile. They simply gazed at each other for a few moments, lost in each other, until Claire let out a sweet cooing noise.

As Erik returned his attention to the baby, Christine simply gazed at them both with love swelling in her heart. Never would she have thought this was possible, that someday she and Erik could be together like this, but here they were on this perfect sunny day. How fortunate she was that she had both her precious baby and her soulmate in her life, and that they were simply playing with their little girl in a park like any normal family.

Floating in her feeling of perfect contentment, Christine leaned back a bit and let her gaze take in the lovely scenery surrounding them as Erik continued to play with Claire. She noticed an elegantly dressed couple stopped on the nearby walking path that seemed to be looking at them, and at first she stiffened, feeling protective of Erik, afraid that they were staring unkindly at his mask. After a moment passed, however, she realized Erik had his back to them and they would be unlikely to be able to see his mask anyway.

Even more confused by their attention, Christine noticed that the pretty young woman wasn’t actually looking at them, but rather up at the man beside her, a delicate frown on her brow. Wondering what was causing them to stop like this for so long, Christine switched her gaze to the man standing next to the young lady. She locked eyes with him, and after a moment of incomprehension, felt the bottom drop out of her stomach.

She was staring into the frantic blue eyes of Raoul, Vicomte de Chagny.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh no, guess who's back? And at the end of such a fluffy chapter, too. These two still have a little more drama to work through, but I promise to do my best to make it all worth it. As always, I really appreciate everyone for sticking with this story so far, and I would love to read any comments you might have!


	9. Chapter 9

Although the entire interaction couldn’t have lasted more than a few seconds in reality, Christine felt time stop as she and Raoul stared at each other. Tearing her gaze from him, she looked at Erik wildly, but thankfully once more her normally incredibly observant husband was distracted by the baby. Glancing to the side again, she saw Raoul start to lead his companion away, still looking at Christine with a stricken look on his face.

By the time Erik returned his gaze to her, she felt somewhat more composed, but of course he seemed to sense something was bothering her. “Are you feeling all right, Christine? You look quite pale, suddenly.”

“Oh!” she said, too loudly. “Um, no, I’m fine. I think I’m just a little warm, maybe.” Why she didn’t tell Erik that she had just seen Raoul, she couldn’t explain at that moment. All she knew was that she was badly shaken at having seen the man she had once loved. A man who had cruelly turned her, and by extension her helpless infant, out to fend for themselves. For whatever reason, Christine realized now that she had never expected to see him again.

Erik smiled at her kindly, but she could see a hint of concern in his eyes. “Very well, then, we had best get home so you can rest.” Christine silently nodded her agreement, her mind racing.

The entire walk home, Christine clung to Erik’s arm, unable to stop the violently swirling thoughts and emotions running through her. What had Raoul been thinking? Would he try to seek her out again? What if he asked to see the baby? How would Erik react if he saw Raoul again? While her husband was much more even-keeled these days, she wasn’t entirely sure she wanted to find out if Erik could contain his old urges should the two of them meet again.

And if Raoul wanted to see the baby, she wasn’t sure if she could deny him that, but Christine also was uncertain if he deserved to see her. Not after she had begged Raoul to believe her that Claire was his and he had turned her away to try to survive on her own anyway. Suddenly, she stiffened and gasped aloud as an even more disturbing thought occurred to her.

What if he tried to _take_ Claire from her? Since she and Raoul had never wed, Christine didn’t think he had any legal claim to Claire, but Raoul was from a powerful, aristocratic family. If he was able to somehow use his family’s vast resources to claim Claire as his ward and raise her in his household, Christine might never see her again. Through the haze of her thoughts, she dimly realized Erik was speaking to her.

“Christine! Is something the matter?”

Belatedly realizing that he must have noticed her gasp, she smiled weakly. “Oh, yes, as I said, I’m just a little overheated.” Feeling guilty for lying to her husband but decidedly not ready to tell him her concerns yet, she suddenly realized one thing that helped ease her mind, at least somewhat: Erik would never allow Claire to be taken from her, from them. That was one thing she knew for certain.

When they arrived home, Erik immediately helped his little wife get comfortable so she could feed the baby before resting herself. When he asked again if anything was amiss, she once more stated that she was only tired and overly warm. At a loss, he accepted her answer, but he knew something more was bothering her.

While he was trying to not leap to conclusions as he had in the past where Christine was concerned, it was getting harder and harder in this situation. What had changed since she seemed so happy earlier in the park, and why was she refusing to talk to him about it?

As much as he tried to deny it to himself, Erik could only determine that he had done something to upset her. Since she wouldn't tell him what he had done, and he truly didn’t know, he felt powerless to fix the situation, and despite his best efforts, he started to fear that he had inadvertently caused something to go wrong between them.

*****

The following Sunday, when Erik asked Christine if she was ready for their walk, she felt the panic from a week ago start to return. She still hadn’t told Erik that she had seen Raoul last week, and she was afraid now that she had waited too long, that Erik would think she was hiding something from him by not telling him sooner. Her greatest fear was that Raoul would be waiting for her in the park, hoping she would return.

“Actually, I’m really not feeling that well. Maybe we should just skip our outing this week.” Christine hated not being completely honest with her husband, but by this point she was practically sick to her stomach with nerves over the entire situation, and felt at a complete loss as to what she should do.

Erik was careful to keep his eyes expressionless, but he could tell Christine was nervous about something. Although he had asked her several times throughout the week if anything was bothering her, she had not admitted to anything being amiss. The last thing he wanted was to return to his old ways, though, not when things had been going so well between them, so he cautioned himself not to overreact. Maybe a little bit of time alone would help her.

“Shall I take Claire out by myself, then? To give you a little time alone to rest?”

Christine found herself horrified by this proposition. The only thing she could imagine that would be worse than encountering Raoul together was Erik meeting him alone. That would never do. “Oh, Erik, that’s sweet of you to offer, but now that you mention it, I think I do feel up to it, after all.” As she was using all her energy to focus on staying calm, she didn’t notice the inquisitive look Erik gave her when she suddenly proclaimed herself healthy enough for their outing.

*****

They spread a blanket under the same tree they always sat under, and although Christine found herself nervously glancing at the walking path behind Erik quite often, she started to gradually relax the longer they were there with no sight of Raoul. Maybe he had no more desire to see her again than she had to see him.

Although Erik noticed that Christine still seemed more tense than usual, she appeared to be enjoying their outing, he thought. When he asked if she was ready to return home, she gave him a warm smile and took his arm as she usually did. As she walked beside him, Erik started to think that maybe he had been overreacting when he imagined that she was upset with him over something. Christine certainly seemed content to be with him right now.

When they were nearly to the gates of the park, she stopped suddenly. “My gloves! I took them off, and I forgot to pick them up before we left.” Erik led her over to a bench underneath a tree.

“Wait here, my dear, and I’ll retrieve them for you. I’ll be back in a moment.” Thrilling at the lovely smile his dear wife gave him, Erik turned and strode off, happy to have the opportunity to do something for her, no matter how small.

Christine gazed at Claire while they waited for Erik to return, admiring the baby as she slept in her carriage, relieved that they had avoided any unpleasant developments on their outing, only to have that relief cut short by a voice she had once never thought she would hear again.

“Christine?”

Her head snapped up. “Raoul? What are you doing here?” she hissed, frantically glancing back at the direction Erik had gone. He would be back at any time, and this was not a confrontation any of them needed to happen.

“I had to see you! I haven’t been able to stop thinking of you since I saw you last week, Christine.”

Although Raoul wore an expression she could only describe as earnest, his words kindled anger in her. How dare he?

“Oh, is that so? Did you spare me, spare _us,_ a thought in the seven months before that since you last saw me? Did you ever wonder if we even _survived?_ Or if we did, what price I might have had to pay to make that happen?”

Raoul at least had the grace to look ashamed at her words. “Of course I did, I just didn’t know what to do. I _am_ sorry, Christine, truly.”

Christine stared blankly back at him. Her anger faded as quickly as it had spiked, and instead she felt - nothing. She merely wanted to be away from him at this point, and was about to tell him so when he continued speaking.

“Who was that man you were with when I saw you?”

Anger started to rise again. “I’m not sure that’s any of your concern, Raoul.” Although in the back of her mind she realized his inquiry meant that he hadn’t recognized Erik, his proprietary method of questioning her was drawing her ire. “By the way, who was the woman you were with?”

He cringed at her question. Apparently Raoul didn’t care for it any more than she did his, because he ignored her and changed the subject. Finally looking at the baby, he asked hesitantly, “Can I hold him?”

Although Christine’s compassionate nature found it hard to deny him, she couldn't believe her former lover’s nerve. “First of all, she’s a girl, and second, why would you want to hold her? You sent me away because you didn’t believe she was yours, remember?”

Raoul raised his stricken gaze to hers. “Christine, I...you must know I didn’t really believe that. It’s just that...my brother…” he trailed off weakly. 

This information was hardly comforting. “So you sent us off to an unknown fate, even thinking she was yours? You need to leave now, Raoul. I don’t have anything further to say to you.”

“No, Christine, please! You have to-”

Raoul’s words suddenly cut off as he fixed his gaze on something over her shoulder. Christine froze as she realized Erik must have come up behind her. An incredulous look came over Raoul’s face. “You!”

Christine spun around wildly, afraid of what Erik might do, but he was standing there as still as a statue, only his clenched fists hanging at his sides giving an indication of his feelings. He stared at Raoul without moving for so long that Christine could no longer control her nerves as she began to wring her hands together. Just as she was about to blurt out something, anything, to break the silence, Erik finally spoke.

“Vicomte,” he said, making Raoul’s title sound like a threat, “get away from my family.”

Although Christine could tell he was shaken, Raoul returned Erik’s gaze. “Your family?” he scoffed. “Christine would never, no matter how desperate she was.”

He turned his gaze to her. “Christine, has this madman kidnapped you again? I saved you from him before, and I will again. Why didn’t you cry for my help when we saw each other last week?”

Although she dearly wanted to point out that she was the one who had done any saving that night in Erik’s house, this was no longer the time to fight with Raoul. Her main objective now was to get through this encounter with no violence. “No, Raoul, he certainly hasn’t kidnapped me. We’re married.” Lest Raoul get any further ideas, she added, “And it was my choice. I married him willingly.”

The look of disbelief on his face turned to one of disgust. “So, apparently my brother was right all along. Thank God he saved me from making the worst mistake of my life.”

Not sparing either her or Claire another glance, Raoul turned and strode away, leaving Christine and Erik in stunned silence behind him.

*****

As they walked home without speaking, Christine wanted to take Erik’s arm as she always did, but his forbidding manner discouraged her. And she had plenty of thoughts swirling in her head to distract her.

Although the scene with Raoul had been painful, maybe it was for the best that it had happened, as long as Erik didn’t overreact. Judging by the words Raoul had uttered before he stormed off, maybe he now believed that Philippe had been correct in saying that he might not be Claire’s father. Hopefully she no longer had to worry about Raoul trying to take the baby from her.

Erik’s mind was racing with thoughts of his own, and despite his best efforts, it was starting to feel more and more disjointed. With every step they took, his awareness increased that Christine had not taken his arm as she always did on their walks. Was it because the sight of her former lover had reminded her just how unappealing her husband was?

And, was the vicomte even her _former_ lover, or just her lover? The fop had specifically mentioned seeing Christine a week ago, and she definitely hadn’t relayed that detail to him. Erik would certainly have remembered that! No wonder she seemed so distracted lately. How often had they met behind his back? Was she even now planning to take the baby and leave him, to run off with her beautiful boy?

Surely his _wife_ wasn’t so foolish as to believe he would ever allow that.

After Erik silently locked the gate at the Rue Scribe entrance behind them, Christine could bear the tension between them no longer, reaching out to place a hand on his arm. To her shock and hurt, he stiffened as though her touch was distasteful, before deliberately shrugging his arm away from her. Her heart dropped as she realized Erik must have been more upset than she realized. “Erik-” she began, not even sure what she intended to say, but he interrupted her.

“No! Don’t speak, Christine, not right now.”

She felt unsure what to make of his words, but maybe he simply needed some time to process what had happened on their outing. Although he had been doing so much better, Erik was still a volatile, passionate man; and, she reminded herself, that while she had had an inkling that they might encounter Raoul, it had come as a complete shock to Erik.

After he opened the front door for her and politely ushered her inside, Christine felt it was a good sign that he was being so courteous, and she turned to try to talk to him again, but he refused to look at her.

Once she and Claire were inside the house, Erik shut the door with a decisive click, and immediately locked it behind them as he always did. What happened next was far from routine, though.

Turning, he finally met her gaze, and Christine was taken aback at the burning emotions in his yellow gaze. She hadn’t seen this look in his eyes since that long-ago night in this very house, the worst night of her life. Without uttering a word, he deliberately slid the key to the door into his suit pocket instead of placing it on the hook next to the entrance where it had hung ever since she returned to him. 

Her heart breaking at what his actions implied, she opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. Even if she had known what to say, it wouldn’t have mattered, she realized dully, because Erik had no intention of listening to her anyway. He swept away from her without another glance, moving down the hallway to his bedroom.

Moments later, she heard the door close behind him, and then ominous, foreboding organ music drifted to her ears. Music she hadn’t heard him play since that same fateful night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me a little longer than usual to get this chapter up! I have been working on several fics that have a deadline of sorts, so that has set me behind on this one on a bit. And, speaking of that (kind of) I made this into a series! I have been intending to do this for a while, although I had planned to wait until this story was completed. This will be the main story, but I kind of love this family so much that I don't want to let go of them when this is over, so I am planning to do some one-shots (or possibly longer, who knows) for them. And now I think I may post one before this main story is completed, so I went ahead and made it a series now.
> 
> As always, thanks very much for reading! Comments are extremely welcome!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After a brief hiatus to work on multiple holiday-related fics, I'm excited to be back to work on this story! A couple things I wanted to mention: I posted the first one-shot connected to this fic since I last updated. It's called A New Beginning, and it takes place between Chapters 6 and 7 of this story if anyone who hasn't seen it is interested in reading it. And, I have also updated the notes for Chapter 3 since I last posted. I was lucky enough to be part of a small Secret Santa gift exchange with some friends, and the wonderful PotO artist GeickoGarbage blessed me with some amazing artwork of the last scene of that chapter. There is a link to view it in a Tumblr post, and if you have enjoyed this story I highly recommend checking it out!

Christine stood in stunned silence in the wake of Erik’s departure. After listening to the organ music crashing out of Erik’s bedroom for several moments, she mechanically gathered her still-sleeping daughter and took her to the Louis Philippe room, placing Claire gently in the cradle that Erik had provided for her. As Christine changed from the dress she had worn to the park to one of the simpler garments she normally wore at home, her gaze kept straying back to the baby. A part of Christine wanted to simply curl up on the bed and hide away until the worst of Erik’s anger passed, but as she watched her daughter sleep, she realized that she couldn't do that.

She was Erik’s wife, not his prisoner, and he couldn’t just lock her in their home and refuse to speak with her. She had played the passive victim in the face of his anger before, but that was no longer who she was. They had overcome too much for her to simply give up now. With one last look to determine that Claire was still sleeping, Christine purposefully walked down the hallway to Erik’s bedroom, leaving the door to her room open so that she would hear the baby if she cried.

She knocked decisively on Erik’s door, but there was no answer. Maybe he couldn't hear it over the organ music, Christine thought, but that wasn’t going to stop her. She reached for the door handle, hoping it wasn’t locked, but to her relief it turned and she entered the room, leaving the door open behind her.

From the way Erik’s already straight posture stiffened even more, Christine could tell that he was aware that she had entered the room, but he didn’t so much as pause in his playing. She almost lost her nerve at the fact that he seemed even angrier than before, but she forced herself to go over to him. Placing her hand on his shoulder, she softly spoke, “Erik-”

Her words cut off in surprise at the way Erik flung himself away from her touch almost violently, quickly rising from the bench in front of the organ to face her. Christine’s heart sank at the wild look in his eyes, at the way his entire body was shaking, but she stood her ground, raising her chin and looking him in the eye.

As Erik stood and looked at her, expecting Christine to cringe away from his anger, he noted in the small part of his brain that was still functioning that she was merely standing there, looking at him. Oh, she thought she could work her wiles on him, did she? Christine must think she had a chance of convincing him to give her the key to the front door so she could escape him. How desperate she must be to get away from him, to risk his rage that he knew terrified her to try to get it from him.

In a controlled, flat tone that was at complete opposition to the emotions raging inside of him, he asked, “What do you want, Christine?” even though Erik knew very well what she wanted from him.

Raising her chin even higher, she somehow found the nerve to look right back into his eyes. Further sickened at this evidence of how much she wanted to get away from him, he had to bite back a sarcastic laugh at her answer. “I want to talk to you.”

“Oh, really? What would you like to talk about?” Erik asked almost pleasantly. For a moment, Christine thought that maybe she had gotten through to him, but then he continued. “Perhaps how you’ve been meeting your lover behind my back? I suppose it was rather naive of Erik to assume you really were visiting the Girys all those times you said you were going to visit ‘friends’.”

Christine stiffened. “No! That’s not fair, Erik. I haven’t been meeting anyone behind your back, and I don’t appreciate you accusing me of such.” If he didn’t know better, he would almost believe her protestations of innocence.

“Interesting. So was the vicomte lying when he said he saw you a week ago?” The disappointment he felt at the guilty look on her face surprised him. Apparently he had been holding on to a shred of hope that he was wrong about the entire situation.

“Well, no, he wasn’t lying, but we didn’t even speak! I just saw him when we were at the park last week. I wasn’t trying to keep it a secret from you.”

“So you somehow simply forgot to mention it?”

“No! I just didn’t know how to tell you. I was afraid you’d be angry.” Christine all but whispered the last sentence, and Erik felt guilty for a second, but her next words roused his anger again. “Besides, I don’t care about Raoul, and I don’t particularly want to talk about him. I care about you.”

“Lies!” To her horror, Erik pulled the mask from his face and spun on his heel, hurling the porcelain against the wall behind him, where it shattered. Whirling back to face her, he pulled the wig from his head and threw it on the floor, standing before her with all his ugliness on display, both internal and external. “Yes, Christine, look at your handsome husband, who you care about  _ so _ much! Whyever would you want the vicomte when you have Erik?”

Christine opened her mouth, but no sound emerged. Which was just as well, because Erik had no wish to hear any more of her excuses. “I grow tired of this conversation, Christine. Know that you’ll never leave me, never take Claire from me. Erik won’t allow it.”

“Won’t allow it?” she sputtered. Erik noted with some satisfaction that she was now becoming upset. Good. 

“You can go now, Christine. We’re done here.” He turned from her dismissively, expecting her to obey him out of fear if nothing else, so her answer surprised him.

“No.”

Christine drew a deep breath as Erik turned to face her again. Although his anger was unsettling her, she didn’t think he was going to turn it on her, although she had known a moment’s doubt when he broke his mask. She refused to run from his rage again.

“Pardon me?”

“I said, I’m not leaving. We aren’t done with this conversation. You haven’t even given me a chance to speak.” For a moment, she thought that Erik might ignore her and simply resume playing his organ anyway, but he didn’t.

“What would you like to talk about?” he asked in a falsely pleasant tone. “Oh, I know,” he continued before she could speak, “how we can end this conversation. It’s really very simple, my dear. If you find some way to escape me, Erik will simply murder your vicomte.”

Christine stiffened in shock. Never in her worst nightmares had she ever thought they would be back in a situation like this. “No, you won’t! In fact, if you ever want this to work between us, you need to swear to me that you won’t harm anyone ever again.”

Erik merely stared at Christine, while she blatantly lied about the prospect of them having any relationship in the future. He opened his mouth, but she spoke first.

“Think of Claire, if nothing else,” she whispered imploringly.

“Fine.” he answered shortly, unable to refute that plea. “I swear it.” What did it matter anyway, now? Christine would hate him whether or not he allowed the vicomte to live.

Erik’s answer eased her tension somewhat, but it was far from relieved. Suddenly a possible consequence of what she had just made Erik promise crossed Christine’s mind. “However, if someone attacks you, or you’re in danger, of course I would want you to defend yourself. That’s not what I meant, all right?”

For a moment, she thought Erik wasn’t going to acknowledge her words at all, but then he nodded curtly. Christine decided she was satisfied with that for now, although she knew they may need to revisit this conversation in the future. They still had something very important to work out immediately.

“And, Erik you can’t keep me, keep  _ us,  _ prisoner here. You simply can’t, and I need to hear you say that.” Christine held her breath, waiting to see what Erik’s response would be after his earlier outburst.

For a horrible moment, he merely stared at her, and she thought he was going to deny her demand, but then he seemed to wither into himself. Wordlessly, Erik reached into his pocket and pulled out the key to the front door. He merely stared at it for a few seconds, and then crossed the room to hand it to her.

Christine took the key and whispered, “Thank you,” as she stared into his eyes. She opened her mouth to continue, but suddenly the air was filled with the sound of Claire crying. Christine hesitated, looking as though she wanted to say something else to him before going to the baby, but he cut her off before she could speak.

Just one word, but uttering it nearly put Erik to his knees. “Go.”

Scarcely able to believe that he had just told her she was free to leave him, he watched her walk away from him for what was certain to be the last time.

*****

Still clutching the key, Christine made her way to the bedroom and changed her daughter with shaking hands, still processing what had just happened with Erik. Afterwards, she sat in the chair in the room and tried to get Claire to eat, but the baby continued to fuss and didn’t cooperate as she usually did. Sure that she was sensing Christine’s tension, she tried to force herself to calm down, but the worse it went with the baby, the more stress Christine felt.

Although she normally relished the time she spent feeding Claire, today she wanted it to go quickly so she could get the baby back to sleep, so that she and Erik could finish their conversation from earlier. Finally getting her to at least start nursing, Christine let her thoughts drift back to her husband.

The way he had spoken to her, accusing her of meeting Raoul behind his back was not acceptable, and she intended to tell him that again when they resumed their conversation. However, she wasn’t entirely blameless in Erik drawing that conclusion - she should have told him that she had seen Raoul, especially once Erik had started asking her if something was troubling her. The fact that she had repeatedly told him there was nothing amiss when there actually was had no doubt made what Raoul said about them seeing each other the week before look damning in Erik’s eyes.

And the worst part was, Christine still didn’t understand  _ why  _ she had kept it from Erik. She truly had had no desire to see Raoul again, and if she would have talked to Erik about her fears that he would somehow try to take Claire, maybe Erik wouldn't have concluded that they were meeting behind his back.

However, the fact remained that when pressed, Erik had agreed not to hurt Raoul, and Christine had seen the look in his eyes - he had meant what he said. She thought that mentioning Claire in that moment must have had an impact on him. And, he had given her back the key when she told him she wouldn't be his prisoner again. Had he not given up on his impulsive attempt to lock her in their home, she might have felt differently, but as things stood now Christine felt there was still hope for them.

Moving Claire for the baby to continue to nurse, Christine stroked her soft head. She wasn’t willing to give up on the family that she and Erik had built despite having so much against them, not without at least trying to talk this out with him.

*****

Erik stood without moving long after he heard the door of Christine’s bedroom close behind her. He thought about returning to his organ, but found he didn’t have the energy. Moving as if in a trance, he walked slowly to the library and sank into his chair. Staring into the fire, he waited for the dreaded sound of Christine’s bedroom door opening so that she could take Claire and leave him alone in misery the way he deserved after how he had treated her.

Now that his emotions had calmed, Erik wanted to be angry at Christine for giving him this brief taste of happiness with the only family he would ever know and then taking it away from him, but how could he truly blame her? The better question was how had he been so foolish as to believe that Christine had actually loved him. What a fine actress she was, nearly as accomplished in that area as she was in singing.

Looking back on the last months, it all seemed so clear now. Erik remembered well how desperate Christine had been when she first came to him and asked for help, and like the fiend that he was he had rushed her into marriage before she even had time to gather her wits. Obviously, once she had realized that she had bound herself to a monster to save herself and her baby, Christine had merely decided to try to make the best of her situation.

Was it any wonder that she would jump at the chance to reconcile with the vicomte? Raoul had always been her first choice; she had only married Erik to survive and have a way to keep her child with her, even if he had allowed himself to conveniently forget that fact over the last months. And after the abhorrent way he had just treated her, there was no doubt that she would be on her way back to her vicomte as soon as she possibly could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Any comments are always appreciated!


	11. Chapter 11

With a start, Erik realized he had been staring into the fire for so long he had lost all track of time. Had Christine taken the baby and departed his house while he sat there? He hadn’t heard her leave, but he had been so lost in his despair that he thought it was possible he might not have heard her exit.

How was he going to go on after this? In a life that had been full of pain, these last months with Christine and then Claire as well had certainly been the best of his life, but now that they were gone he already felt their absence like a knife. Erik had always endured his perpetual suffering because he knew nothing else, but now that he had experienced something different, returning to his solitary existence, being despised by everyone he came into contact with, seemed unbearable in a way it hadn’t previously.

Closing his eyes, he considered an option he never truly had before, except as something vague that would potentially happen at some undetermined point in the future. When Christine had moved into his house, she had insisted that he remove the coffin from his bedroom and replace it with an actual bed. Even though he knew that the casket was truly a fitting resting place for a monster like himself, Erik couldn’t bear the thought of Christine being upset, and so he had complied with her request. If he was honest with himself, he had probably hoped to gain her favor by fulfilling it as well, as pathetic as that was.

However, he had merely dragged it out into the cellars. Erik had always thought that once he had finished his opera, he would lie down in the coffin and never rise again, but of course he had abandoned that line of thinking over these past months, since he had had a wife and baby in his life who needed him. Now, though, with them gone, maybe it was time to do exactly that. Certainly no one would truly mourn him, although the Daroga and Madame Giry might spare a few sad thoughts for him.

But as he considered this idea, he suddenly realized he couldn’t seek even this way to end his pain. Erik had only to recall the sight of Christine the day she had returned to him, weak and hungry, so desperate to save herself and her baby that she had agreed to marry him. Knowing her condition had been a direct result of the vicomte not taking the care of her that he should have, Erik couldn’t be sure the man wouldn't let his brother influence him once again when it came to Christine. What if the comte forced Raoul to abandon her and Claire once more? Also, if something happened to the vicomte, even if he stayed true to her this time, his family would doubtless turn the two of them out with nothing.

Although Christine was causing him pain by leaving him, no matter how understandable her actions were, Erik could never let her suffer like that again, not if he had the means to help her. And the thought of the innocent little girl he had had the gift of loving being hungry or hurting for even a moment tore what was left of his heart from his chest. No matter if Claire never knew of the wretched creature who loved her as his own daughter, he had to stay alive for her. If their association with the vicomte ended for any reason, Erik would make sure they had a safe place to live, as well as everything they needed to be comfortable.

Just as he was wondering how he would get her to talk to him one last time when he sought her out at the vicomte’s residence, so that Christine would know to come to him if she ever needed help in the future, he heard her bedroom door open. So, she hadn’t left him yet. Just as he was about to spring to his feet and intercept her before she departed his house for the final time, she appeared in the doorway. Apparently, his Christine was so kind that she felt even a monster like him deserved a farewell.

*****

Although Christine was beginning to wonder if Claire would ever quiet down, eventually the baby fell back asleep. Laying her in her cradle, Christine left the room to seek out Erik, leaving the door open so they would hear the baby if she cried.

After taking a quick detour to return the key to its place by the door, she found Erik in the library. When he looked up and saw her at the entrance to the room, the look in his eyes broke her heart. She opened her mouth, but he held a hand up before she could speak.

“Please, Christine, I have some things I need to say to you.”

She nodded in answer. “All right.” Christine had some things to say to Erik, as well, but she was content to let him speak first. She crossed the room and sat in her chair next to his, waiting to see what he had to say.

He closed his eyes and hesitated a moment, drawing a deep breath before meeting her gaze, emotions burning in his golden eyes. “Christine, I barely know where to begin. I...have so many things to apologize for.”

At this, Christine sat a little straighter. She didn’t know exactly _what_ she had expected Erik to say to her during this conversation, but she did know she hadn’t necessarily anticipated him starting with an apology.

“I’ve done nothing but hurt and deceive you since we met.” At this, she almost opened her mouth to argue, but held herself back, even though that statement wasn’t entirely true. He continued, “I should never have let you believe I was an angel, and I certainly shouldn’t have let it go on for so long, only revealing myself to you because I was jealous over your boy. And, as you well know, it only got worse from there.

“I became more and more obsessed, not caring what you wanted or that I was frightening you, and it culminated in the biggest mistake of my life. I can never atone for what I did to you that night.”

At this, Erik paused and closed his eyes again as Christine’s mind raced wildly. No, he could never change what had happened, but she had also never expected to hear Erik apologize in this manner. Once again, she nearly spoke, but he continued before she could.

“And then, you came back, and I still treated you dishonorably.” At these words from Erik, Christine could no longer stay silent. No matter what else he had done, she couldn’t listen to him disparage the kindness he had shown her when she returned to him.

“No, you didn’t, Erik, you _helped_ me.”

At her words, Erik gave a brief laugh, but there was no humor in it. “Oh, Christine, I wish that were true. Instead, I saw that you were scared and desperate, and I rushed you into marrying me before you could think the matter through. If I had truly had your best interests at heart, I would have done what you originally asked, and merely given you a safe place to stay until Claire was born. Instead, I let you tie yourself to a monster in my desperation to have you in my life.”

Her heart breaking at the knowledge that Erik thought that he had forced her into something she hadn’t wanted, Christine tried to find the words to tell him that that simply wasn’t true, but when she started to speak, he held up a hand again.

“Please, Christine, let me finish while I still can. Then you may certainly say anything to me that you wish.” When she nodded, content to grant him this as long as he truly did intend to let her have her say as well, he continued.

“I need you to know that I will not stand in your way, or do anything to interfere with your life going forward, but I also need you to know that you can always come to me in the future, if you need my help for anything, and there will be no expectations on my part.”

Now that he was nearing the end of everything he needed to tell Christine before she left, Erik felt close to breaking down, but he forced himself to continue, and as he did so a new idea occurred to him.

“In fact, I will finish the house, and it will always be there for you, in case you and Claire ever need a place to live. The two of you will never want for anything if this comes to pass, and you’ll never even have to see me, I promise.”

“Erik, _no,”_ Christine choked out in spite of her agreement to let him finish, but when she said no more, he reassured her.

“Please, Christine, I couldn’t bear the thought of either one of you suffering, not when I can prevent it.” Using her argument from earlier against her, he added, “Think of Claire, if nothing else.” Ignoring the choked sob Christine gave at his words, he found himself asking for something he knew he didn’t deserve.

“I do wonder one thing, though, Christine. I said I will never bother either of you again, and I meant it. However, I thought that you might consider bringing Claire to our park, say, once a month, just so I can see her.” Unable to believe he had made such a request of her, Erik dreaded hearing her answer, but the thought had come to him that if he could occasionally see her, see both of them, that it would help him in his determination to stay alive in case they ever needed him.

Seeing the horrified look Christine was giving him through her tears, Erik hung his head in shame. Even though he knew she was going to refuse him, he continued, “I won’t try to talk to her, or to you. She will never even need to know…”

Erik let his words trail off as Christine let out a hoarse sob, disgusted with himself that he hadn’t even been able to get through his goodbyes to her without frightening her. He waited in shame while she collected herself, standing to face him while wiping the tears from her face.

She waited until he was looking her in the eyes, and then she slowly shook her head. 

As the hurt of this final rejection washed over him, Erik dropped his head into his hands, barely able to breathe. He told himself it was no more than he deserved, but that didn’t make the pain any less.

*****

Christine stood in front of her husband as he buried his face in his hands, bending forward slightly as though he was in physical pain. She was still comprehending the fact that Erik had just given her such a thorough apology, something she had never truly expected to get from him. They had both been content to ignore the past issues between them ever since they had reunited, Christine realized, but obviously that was no longer going to be an option for them.

Reaching forward, she gently pulled Erik’s hands from his face, feeling her heart clench at the hopeless look he gave her. He opened his mouth, but Christine spoke before he did. “Erik, I have some things to apologize for, as well.”

Shaking his head, Erik began “No, Christine, you have nothing-”

“Erik, I let you say what you wanted to say to me. Please let me have my turn to say what I need to.”

Looking at him, she took a deep breath. “It’s true, things went wrong between us in the past, and most of it was because of your actions.” Sadly, she noticed the way he dropped his head in shame, but she pressed on. “But, I wasn’t blameless. I wasn’t always honest with you about what I wanted, telling you one thing and then Raoul another. I think I was...scared of what I truly wanted, more than anything, but that doesn’t excuse my actions.”

Erik looked like he wanted to interrupt her again, but he stayed quiet. “And, this last week, even though you asked me several times what was bothering me, I kept telling you it was nothing, which obviously wasn’t true. But what I said earlier _was_ true - I hadn’t spoken to Raoul since I left his house, not before today.”

At this, Erik did speak up. “Christine, I shouldn’t have accused you of meeting him behind my back, and even if you had, how could I blame you?” Shoulders slumping, he looked away from her, but she pressed on.

“No, you shouldn’t have, but I can understand how my hiding the fact that I saw him last week made it look as though I was in contact with him. The worst part is I don’t even know _why_ I didn’t tell you that I saw him.” Feeling her composure slip a little, Christine rambled on, “I think I was just _scared,_ maybe. Of how you’d react.” Drawing a deep breath, Christine confessed her real fear, “And that he might somehow try to take Claire away from me, from us.”

Now Erik’s gaze flew to her face, and she saw a hint of his iron will shine through his sorrow. “Never,” he vowed, “I would never let her be taken from you.”

“I know,” she whispered, fighting back tears.

Just as quickly, his eyes dropped again. “But, now you’re free to go. It was a misguided impulse to think that I could ever keep the two of you here against your will, and I hope that one day you’ll be able to forgive me for that, as well as everything else I’ve done.”

Christine stared at him blankly for a moment. Did Erik really think she wanted to leave him, especially after everything that had just been laid bare between them? “Erik, I’m not going anywhere. _We’re_ not going anywhere.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, and feel free to leave a comment!


End file.
